Life Conversations with a Twist
Join me once a week for a new interview with a local, badass woman who has an amazing story to tell. Join me in conversation so you too can gain inspiration and empowerment from these stories! If you love hearing about leadership, relationships, families, motherhood and navigating hard times, then tune into my podcast and share with others. If you love what you hear, share and tag me on Instagram at @heathernelson.life. You can also visit my website at heathernelson.life.
Life Conversations with a Twist
Overwhelmed and Tired? A Gentle Reset for When Life Feels Like Too Much with Elizabeth Webb
“Choose Yourself now, not in five months, not in five years, not in 40 years. You will never, ever regret those choices. Baby step your way back to a life that you feel excited about.” —Elizabeth Webb
Life can look full and still feel empty. We carry responsibilities, relationships, and expectations that slowly drain our energy until joy feels distant and everything feels heavy. This conversation speaks to that quiet exhaustion many women are living with right now.
Elizabeth Webb shares insights shaped by two decades of guiding leaders through burnout, relationship strain, and identity loss. Her work centers on helping people reclaim their energy, simplify their lives, and reconnect with what makes them feel alive again.
Press play if we’re ready to stop running on fumes and start choosing ourselves again.
- Why so many women feel disconnected from themselves
- The hidden cost of overwhelm and energetic burnout
- Releasing guilt around rest, pleasure, and boundaries
- How relationships can drain or restore our life force
- Why saying no is a form of self respect
- Reclaiming joy without burning everything down
- Small, sustainable ways to feel like ourselves again
Connect with Heather:
Episode Highlights:
01:13 Meet Elizabeth Webb— Human Behavior & Self-Development Expert
05:14 The “Lack of Sparkle” at Every Age— Emotional Wellness Deep Dive
09:37 Overwhelm & Energy— Practical Steps to Reclaim Joy
14:57 Reinventing Yourself— Adapting Routines and Preferences
18:29 Fixing Energy — Insights from “Made for Magic” about Relationships
23:15 Choosing Yourself While in a Relationship— A New Perspective
28:43 Doing the Work— Individual Growth vs. Relationship Patterns
34:14 Setting the Tone— Women’s Influence & Emotional Energy
39:05 Executive Overload— Leadership, Boundaries, and Relationships
44:40 Fire to End On— Micro Choices & Choosing Yourself Now
Resources:
💲Discount
CLEARSTEM
Get a 15% discount when you shop at: clearstem.com
Use Heather’s Code: SFVXPHXB
🔗Link: https://clearstem.com/SFVXPHXB
📖 Book
Made for Magic: A Practical Guide From Survival Mode to Soul-Satisfying Joy by Elizabeth Webb
Connect with Elizabeth:
Elizabeth Webb, known as The Practical Priestess™, is a Positive Psychology expert, Master Breakthrough Coach, and best-selling author with over 20 years of experience guiding executives, founders, creatives, and public figures. Featured in The New York Times, NYT best-selling books, and major media outlets including ABC News and TLC, she is recognized for helping people strengthen intuition, gain clarity, and achieve both personal fulfillment and professional success. A sought-after keynote speaker and retreat leader worldwide, Elizabeth is dedicated to helping growth-minded individuals break free from “toxic toleration,” awaken their inner genius, and create lasting, meaningful change.
Hey ladies, it's your host, Heather Nelson, welcoming you to another season of Life Conversations With A Twist. This is a space where we dive into stories of remarkable women who've conquered challenges and emerged stronger. Join me each week as we unravel tales of resilience, triumph and empowerment. These narratives aren't just stories. These are stories of inspiration, and I'm so honored to have the space to share them with you. Plus, I will be sharing my own personal stories of inspiration as I navigate starting my own business and achieving my own goals. So whether you're driving in the car or out moving your body, get ready for heartwarming stories and empowering conversations together. Let's raise a virtual toast to empowerment, because here at Life Conversations With A Twist, every story has the power to inspire. Cheers, ladies.
Heather Nelson: Hello everyone. Welcome to this week's Life Conversations With A Twist. I have the honor of having Elizabeth Webb on, and we just met. We do have some connections because she is very familiar with California. She sits in Texas, but we'll let her tell us a little bit more about herself. Welcome to the podcast.
Elizabeth Webb: I'm so happy to be here, Heather.
Heather Nelson: I cannot wait to have this conversation, so tell our listeners a little bit about who you are, where you live, and a little bit of context of where you sit in your life right now.
Elizabeth Webb: So my name is Elizabeth. I am an expert in human behavior, and my day job is guiding executives. I become the right hand of different executives for at least a year. I do year long contracts plus. And I've been doing this work, I've been in this self development industry full time for 21 years. This is my wheelhouse. All things that take us out of our power, all things that increase our life force and our enjoyment of life, this has been my life's work. And I noticed that when I was speaking at different places, people always asked me for a book. They were like, do you have a book? Do you have a book? And I was like, oh, that sounds awful. Please stop asking me for a book. I do not want to write a book. I'm such an extrovert. I don't want to be locked away with my computer and isolated for years. And then about three years ago, I just got over my resistance and all of my many, many excuses and wrote the damn book.
Heather Nelson: Good job, that's all it takes.
Elizabeth Webb: It's published a couple weeks ago. It's called Made for Magic, and the book has done really well. It's a really beautiful, I would say, energetic, helpful, practical read about how to feel more alive, more sparkle and the spark. Get the spark back in this sometimes brutal, draining world of many, many responsibilities and to do lists, and a world of overwhelm that is really not designed for our highest good, or to keep our spirit alive. So how do we do that? This book really answers that question, and I'm proud of it. So what's up with me right now? I'm a dancer. I can say I enjoy being alive despite all of the pitfalls and brutal moments of life. I just actually love being alive.
Heather Nelson: I love that. And one of the things you had asked me before we hit record is like, why my podcast? Or what I love about it? And I said to you, I feel like everyone is always on my podcast at a perfect time in my life, or that right moment, or that right day. I feel like this is a conversation that I've been struggling with, I'm like sitting in a weird spot right now in life and so I cannot wait to get all these little nuggets from you today. You are my next book to read, because I think it's exactly what I need right now in my life.
Elizabeth Webb: I love that so much, and I would love to know what specifically did I say that you were like, oh, that's the medicine I need right now. Because I bet there's other people that feel that exact way.
Heather Nelson: I think it's the sparkle, like finding the sparkle. I know it's there. I just got off a woman's retreat, I co-hosted with a friend of mine, and it's those kinds of works, or those kinds of moments where everyone's like, oh, my gosh, you're so inspiring, you're so empowering. Yet, I don't see that in myself. Or I'm just sitting in a weird spot in life emotionally, and so that's where and when you said sparkle, finding your sparkle again. That's what sparked for me.
Elizabeth Webb: I started a book club for this book. By the time this airs, it will probably be over. There's other ways to access the work. But in this book club, I had one of the ladies, I asked them, introduce yourself and say some things, a couple things you'd like to feel less of, and a couple things you'd like to feel more of. And one woman that I know was there, and she said, I'm feeling this kind of duck flat line. I'm feeling very like meh about life. That was her way of saying it. And this is something I see a lot.
Heather Nelson: The lack of sparkle is its own jail cell. Are you seeing it at a certain age? I'm 43 years old and I feel like a lot of my friends in my age group that we're all in that same spot right now.
Elizabeth Webb: Yes. Absolutely. I think that the lack of sparkle, or not feeling access to your internal magic, or that pep in your step, feeling more that life is more painful than pleasurable. These are all different ways to say the same thing. It's like, where's that aliveness? Where's that spark that can happen really early? I've seen it happen to women in their 20s that have gone through something major. Or some women get married really early, and get divorced really early. And after a fallout like that, that can just make them feel older than their years. So the answer to your question is, yes, I do see it at a certain age, and you're describing that age. But also, it can happen much sooner than that. I see it at all ages, but because we're speaking to, right now, you're 43, right? I'm 45 and about to turn 46.
Heather Nelson: Happy early birthday.
Elizabeth Webb: I was on another podcast a couple weeks ago, and she was saying the word middle aged. She was speaking about herself because she's in her 40s as well. She's a gorgeous actress. And the way that the words sounded coming out of her mouth, I was like, can I ask you a question? How does that phrase make you feel? And she started dry heaving. She was, like, gross. I hate it. Middle age, how is that me? And I was like, okay, great. So we have this whole beautiful sect of women that could be vibrant, sparkly, gorgeous, all of these things that know that they're that, they're being called middle aged, which makes us all feel like shit. Makes us feel like, oh, the best years have passed. I'm no longer the muse. I'm no longer this. I'm now falling into this other category in life that's less desirable. I feel like a big awareness that's necessary here is to just go like, whoa. This isn't just me. Some of it is, it might be how you feel psychologically or in your physical body, hormonally, or with things that have happened that have accumulated. So there's that, that's a whole other thing that we can address and talk about. But let's look at the messages that we're bombarded with about not being in the right phase of life.
Heather Nelson: So true. I actually am embracing being older. I do think what you said, you call it midlife?
Elizabeth Webb: I said someone else called it that.
Heather Nelson: I don't agree with that. I actually feel probably better than I ever do. I know that there's more. You hear all these stories that they sparkle and their uniqueness, or their empowerment didn't come to like 60. I'm good with where I'm sitting. I just battle all the emotional, hormonal crap that goes on. Before you, I was just interviewing somebody who does a lot with fertility, and how you get your body in the right place. You can do that yourself regularly by eating better and all the things, and getting enough sleep and all those, so that's something that I personally need to work on. But I still just feel like everyone just says, everything just feels heavy. Relationships feel heavy. Marriage feels heavy. Being a mom feels heavy. And it's like, what steps or what things can you do to break that cycle for yourself? Should we go into that? Well, let's dive into it, because I want to hear how you got to where you are doing this work today too. Because you don't just magically wake up one day and you're like, I am going to make everywhere amazing. But how have you got to that spot?
Elizabeth Webb: Yeah. I like to work with people where they're at. I realized that even the book title Made For Magic, when someone feels like crap, they don't want to reach for magic. They want to reach for more aliveness, more energy, more balance, and more peace of mind. And so it's like baby stepping ourselves. There are choices by choice, but let's go into a specific question here. It sounded like, if everything's feeling heavy, and this isn't just you, it's the women that you're talking to. You're hearing women are feeling heavy. They're feeling burdened. The relationships are feeling heavy. The responsibilities are feeling heavy. I'm not saying anyone's depressed, but another word for depression is overwhelm. I would say anything that can be done to get, let's just say your right now to say your life out of overwhelm is going to serve you, and it's really beneficial to go area by area so that you're not overwhelmed by getting out of overwhelm. So this could be as simple as going through every area of your life and being like, okay, first, I'm going to take on my physical health. What are the elements of physical health? How I'm eating, supplementation, hydration, sleep.
There's probably others that I'm not listening to. I'm not a specialist in this. But then getting into like, how do I simplify this for myself? What can I delegate? There's so many things that I see women doing because they think it makes them a good mom, or they think it makes them a good wife, or they think it makes them a good member of society that they don't actually like doing that doesn't add value to their life. So there are some women that absolutely love cooking. They love cooking. It's therapeutic for them. They like to put in ingredients themselves. There's some women that hate cooking, or that cooking is a burden, but they do it because they feel like they have to. So for the women that it's in the budget delegating some of this, and really just taking away the shame of that. Anything that can be delegated or simplified where the woman is not doing extra steps or playing a certain role, or taking on more responsibility to be a quote, unquote good woman, or a good wife, or a good mother, let's just free ourselves up from that as much as humanly possible because it is absolutely a trap that many, many years from now. When someone's taking their last breath, they're not going to give a flying shit what people thought about them being a good woman, they're going to care about how much they were able to enjoy their lives. So going category by category, I would take one at a time so as to not get overwhelmed and say, how can I simplify this? What am I doing right now that feels heavy that I don't actually have to do, but maybe it would feel not practical, or it would feel too expensive? How can I free up more spaciousness for myself?
Heather Nelson: I literally thinking this morning that same thing because I set my alarm and got up. I go work out because I know that I'm supposed to do that, and I should wake up early and work out, or I need to move my body. And then I thought to myself, you know what? Why do we put so much pressure on us to do these things? Why does it have to be something that I have to add? What if I'm going to go for a casual walk later where it doesn't feel like it doesn't angst me? I'm like, why am I stressing out about it? I might just lay here and do what you want to do. Read a book. Do you know what I mean? We put so much pressure on ourselves just to do that one thing.
Elizabeth Webb: I'm hearing even just in the language around that I feel like I have to work out. You might not be a workout gal that might feel heavy and annoying for you. You might never want to get on an elliptical machine ever again in your life. You might not be a pilates person, you might dance around the kitchen for 30 minutes person, you might be a walk in the sunshine person, you might be a bicycle rider. I'm never going to disrespect movement, because movement will help in every area of your life. Movement in your body is movement in your life, and it helps with so many different things. But forcing ourselves to be a gym girl when we're not a gym girl, and the gym makes us feel like shit, or everybody's doing HIIT workouts, but you hate it. Or people are running, but you don't want to run. Find the movement that maximizes the pleasure for you so you keep wanting to do it.
Heather Nelson: Be okay with like, yes, I loved HIIT workouts 10 years ago, and it was fabulous. And I woke up at 5:00 am, and that was okay. But it's okay to find something else that's different.
Elizabeth Webb: I would say it's expected and normal for our preferences and our interests to evolve. It's normal. It's not societally normal or encouraged, but it's actually normal for people to reinvent themselves multiple times over a lifetime. I used to love that, but I don't like that anymore. I used to be vegan, but now I want protein. I used to love to run, and now it makes my joints feel weird, and it feels hard. I actually like softer movement now and just release any of this like it shouldn't be this way. I shouldn't feel that way. Everyone else is doing this. Who cares? What feels good to you? What will you want to continue doing? That's the question. And just having so much freedom and permission around that it's like, if we lived in a shame free world that had no compare or despair where you didn't know what anyone else was doing, and you're never going to get a side eye from anyone ever again in your life, what life would you be living? I suggest doing as much of that as you can stomach right now.
Heather Nelson: And they always say the word should never come out in our vocabulary. We should be doing this. We should do this. We should do this. We should stop shooting ourselves. Let it go.
Elizabeth Webb: I know I still say the word. I do. My language is not perfect, but I hope that the code of what I'm saying still comes through. It's really about freedom. And the reality is we are free, but many of us don't feel free.
Heather Nelson: With the work that you're doing and the clients that you work with, what is the biggest obstacle that you are seeing? I'm assuming you work with men and women?
Elizabeth Webb: I worked only with women for the majority of my career. And then about 8 years ago, I started taking male clients as well, and I really enjoy them.
Heather Nelson: So for the sake of this conversation, women that you work with, what is the hardest thing that they're all struggling with? What is some advice or things that you can encourage somebody to get unstuck?
Elizabeth Webb: Oh, the biggest themes? Well, there's a lot. First of all, the one that we're talking about right now, why don't I feel like myself anymore? Such a big nuanced question, is this just me now? Am I just like this? Is this life of all of this responsibility and all of these to do lists, is this it? It is a big overarching question. And when a woman asks me that, all I know is that she's starved for energy. That's a question that comes from energetic starvation. And when someone starves for energy, that's actually great news. It's awful news. And it's also great news because it's totally fixable.
Heather Nelson: And the way that girl tell us how--
Elizabeth Webb: Well, I did happen to write a whole book on it to serve this very purpose. Once again, it's called Made For Magic. It literally answers this question, how do I get my energy back? When you get your energy back, you feel magical, truly. And I spent three chapters of this book for many, many months, and three chapters of this book is about relationships. I reverse engineered writing this book because it wasn't just like, what do women need to get their spark back and feel more alive? I was like, let me go into every pain point of the areas of our life where we give our power away and we bleed our energy to other people. One of the biggest ones is interpersonal relationships, romantic relationships, familial relationships, work relationships, friendships and our relationships with people we don't even know. What are they gonna think? Or what do they think? Whatever we think they are. They could be the world of online, or our church, or whatever we think people think about us. So there's three chapters here. The first one is about empowered romance. It is the longest and most intense chapter of the book due to the enormity of the subject. And then the next chapter is about empowered relationships with everyone else in our life. And then the next chapter after that is about untethering, which is the art and understanding of how to rewrite our agreements with people, or end our agreements with people, whatever agreements we've fallen into with them. So to answer your question, relationships and the way that we navigate them is one of the biggest components to what can breathe energy and life into us, or what can suck and drain the life force out of us. And we all know it, right? So I would love to ask, do you have a specific question about relationships? Because it's such a big topic. I would love to hear, give me something to point and shoot at.
Heather Nelson: I guess I would say where I think I'm most struggling is my husband. My obviously romantic relationship, and I know that. We've been going through counseling for a year and a half, and I'm like, I just keep feeling if I can get this in a better place, whether that's us staying together and making it work, or leaving the situation? I know that I feel like I can break free and be myself, but it's been so draining that it totally makes me. It's not even just me. I just had this whole conversation with some girlfriends over the weekend. The husband relationship, or our spouse relationship is so heavy. I get it. There's so much stress that happens. But I feel like that is the root.
Elizabeth Webb: That seems like the real heavy, heavy one. Well, there's many different ways to look at this. And something that I heard another woman say, which I thought was extremely powerful. She was at a pivotal point in her marriage where she was like, do I stay? Or do I go? They were on the brink of divorce, and she asked herself, okay, if I get a divorce from this man, what are all the things that I'm going to do? I'm going to start working out. I'm going to start self pleasuring. I'm going to get a new wardrobe. I'm going to get hot. I'm gonna go dancing with my friends. I'm gonna start flirting with life in a different way. I'm gonna feel free. And she was like, well, and then I'm gonna maybe meet another man, and maybe even unconsciously recreate this whole thing. Maybe not. But what if I stayed in this marriage and did all of that right now? It's like finding that version that's I'm free of all this heaviness and this bullshit. I'm going to work out. I'm going to take care of myself. I'm going to choose myself, and harness that version while still in the relationship, which is much easier said than done. This is deep, deep work. But really choosing that while in the relationship and seeing what cuts loose there is interesting.
Heather Nelson: Really interesting. Because you're right. You think of like, well, why can't I just do that now?
Elizabeth Webb: I'm sure you could give me 10 practical reasons why not.
***Friends, I have such an exciting product that I need to share with you. Are you someone who hates washing their face at night? Yep, that's me. For years, I never wanted to wash my face. And finally, I found a product that actually gets me excited to wash my face every night, and that is Clear Stem. I have tried so many products over the years to find the one that I truly love, the one that makes my skin glow, the one that makes me feel good when I wash it, and the one that gets me excited to want to wash my face. I discovered Clear Stem through another podcaster, and I was like, I gotta give this a try. I instantly became obsessed. Some of my favorite products are the hydrating cleanser, which I use every night. It smells delicious. It makes my skin feel so great. Once a week, I use their Vitaminscrub, which is an exfoliating cleanser and that just has these little micro beads in it that just make your face feel so beautiful. I can just feel them get into my pores and really give my face this huge glow. And then one of my other favorite products is the Hydraberry Mask. And once you wash your face, you put a layer of this on your skin, and you go to sleep and wake up, and your face feels like butter. I get so many compliments on my skin. Now, I don't get a lot of breakouts anymore. My face feels nice, hydrated and bright, and it's all because of the Clear Stem product. What I love about them is that their products are all clean. They're good for your skin, they're good for your body, and they have so many different product lines based on the type of skin you have. So go down in the show notes, and click on the link. I'm giving 15% off to anybody who uses my code. And I promise you, once you try this, you are going to be obsessed just as much as I am. So again, go down to the show notes, click on the link, receive 15% off, and give Clear Stem a try. I promise you will not regret it.
Elizabeth Webb: I'm aware of all of those. I'm so aware of all of the reasons, why not? And it's a deep choice. I would never ever tell someone to leave a marriage unless it was physically or emotionally abusive. Because no one can ever tell someone to be done. Say someone's therapist said, no, you need to leave. But you weren't totally ready in your own soul, there may be regret that lingers for the rest of your life, or a question no one can ever tell someone else to be done with their relationship. So I really love what this other woman did. Her name is Alexi Panos. I want to make sure that I say her name. Yeah, her name is Alexi Panos and she said that she's married to Preston Smiles, and they're now really back on track. She decided to stay, and they reinvented, and they both did a lot of deep work. I don't know all of the other elements of their story, but that piece of it is up to her. She was like, I'm reclaiming this now. I'm reclaiming this now. And sometimes, I cannot handicode this. It is sometimes that two people are just truly, deeply not a match, but they're so in it with the enmeshment of the property, and the children, and the responsibilities that they just don't even know how to go separate ways. And it feels like Chinese water torture.
Sometimes, two people really could be a match, but so much has happened that hasn't been cleaned up, and they're looking at each other through this negative lens of resentment, and a deep cleanup, and bonding, and getting back to the pleasurable side of the relationship could actually solve it. There's a reinvention that's available, and no one can tell anyone which category they're in because this is a deep research project. And every couple is so different. But I would say the hope piece like what I see when someone feels like they could be in the wrong relationship, or the relationship just feels like heavy, there can be a heaviness and a hopelessness that sets in when somebody feels stuck, and that's an alarm bell that action needs to be taken, if not a decision about the relationship, a decision about that woman's life of like, I don't know how much longer I'm going to be in this. It could be six months. It could be six years. It could be the rest of my life. But I'm not going to be this version anymore. This is not working. I'm reclaiming it now. So I'm not sure what resonated with you, but I'd love to hear all of it.
Heather Nelson: Actually, it's very interesting. I do agree with like, we can do work together, but I almost feel like we need to do work separately. I personally have work to do with myself, and so does he. And so what would happen if that all happens? And then there's this beautiful opportunity that happens. I don't know why women are so scared. What really hit me was, when you're like, I'm going to reclaim it. I'm going to be like, this is who I'm going to be. Why do we have such a hard time claiming that, and moving forward with that? And I see this with a lot of people like, we all know that. We just get stuck in the muddiness of it all. Like, why can't we just say, no, this is going to be different. And it's like, is there a fear that he's going to leave us? Is there a fear that, oh, you can actually be happy. I mean, I think that's probably a lot of it.
Elizabeth Webb: Interesting. Say more about that.
Heather Nelson: I just feel like sometimes, it's like you're so stuck in the muddiness of the yuckiness of it. And then if you just let it go, because we're both protecting something, right? We're protecting who we are, or what we believe in, or our truth, or whatever it might be. But if we were to just let that go and just be able to just be and be true to each other, what a beautiful thing it could be. And then I hear this a lot, a lot of stubbornness, right? Most people are stubborn. And it's like, nope, I'm not gonna be the one that gives it and just says, you know what? Let's just let the past go. Get over these stupid arguments and go and like, let's just really put forward. But I think there's a fear of it because it's what we've been doing for so long that it just becomes a normal thing. Does that make sense?
Elizabeth Webb: It does. It does. I would challenge that all day and get it. When something's a pattern, and that pattern has been playing out, it can become a part of our identity. I'm not saying that you do, but say someone's bickering with their husband. Bickering. Say there's standoffs, there's silent treatment, there's this, there's that, and that's the way of being, or that's the default, or the default is eye roll. There he goes again. He forgot the thing again. I told him three times, and he didn't do it. Without those ways of being like, what if I took away criticism? What if I just said, okay, I'm taking away your arsenal. You don't get to roll your eyes. You don't get to judge. You don't get to criticize what would be left. You'd have to redefine your whole way of being towards this person, and it would take away the righteousness. This deep righteousness. I've really noticed, I do believe, generally, that women are more evolved than men are. And we tend to do more growth work than men do, so that can have us seated in the righteous seat feeling really correct about our way, and it just creates no room for intimacy. And then we're just looking down at our man thinking he's some unevolved idiot. So then, if he can't win, they stop trying.
Got a whole segment in empowered romance about, why men stop trying? What brings out the worst in men? What brings out the best in men? And it truly does become a self fulfilling prophecy when we're looking at the man that we're with like, he is an incapable bump on a log. And our words come out of our mouth like that, and our eyes look at him through that and he can feel it. It is so deeply painful, and then they just start trying less and less to protect themselves. The woman becomes the enemy. And it's really sad. The vicious cycle, totally. And it's normal. There's a reason why I wrote about it. There's a reason why we're talking about it. So we're not talking about, oh, it's okay because it's normal. It's normal to be in an unhappy marriage. That's what's normal. Very few marriages are thriving. I can't remember the exact percentage. It's something like, I'm gonna get this wrong, but it's something like 35% of marriages are saying that they're thriving. So the other 65% or so, let's say that number is right, people are tolerating each other. Or they're living separate lives, like normal sucks. So whatever these ways of being that are normal and we're scared of doing something else, I would say what you're doing already is pretty scary. Let's look at that. The slow Chinese water torture of living in the normal, unsatisfied married life is pretty scary to me. That's more scary than being like, okay, let's throw this out. I'm sick of being right. How do I find the hero in this man and call that forward? Or how do I leave this man? Those are my options, because this torturous other way is way scarier.
Heather Nelson: You just nailed it on the head.
Elizabeth Webb: Can't wait for you to read the book. I want you to tell me what lands for you.
Heather Nelson: Where do you start? So totally, in everything you just said about making them feel less of, I see it. I totally get it. I hear it. Totally relatable. What are some small steps to go in the right direction?
Elizabeth Webb: Oh, wow.
Heather Nelson: I'm always like, can we go on a deserted island for a week by ourselves?
Elizabeth Webb: I'm not fully convinced with most couples that if we put them on a desert island with no stressors, that they would reset. No, I think that it's a really tough pill to swallow. A really tough pill to swallow that the woman sets the tone of the relationship. No one likes to hear that. I don't like to hear that. I hate it. To me, I'm like, come on. Another thing that's on us. Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. Like, I don't like that. And also, the woman sets the tone of the relationship. She is in her mood. Her replenishment, or lack thereof. Her anger, or lack thereof. Her joy, or lack thereof sets the energetic tone of the household, and sets the energetic tone of the relationship. If your man is basically a good man that's just not living up to his potential, there is so much that the woman can do just by choosing herself and becoming a joy filled sensual being. Again, that's a lot less angry. So I would say the first steps aren't even about him. Probably 60 to 70% of the reasons why the woman is angry and emasculating or criticizing is because she's freaking exhausted. So it's like choosing herself, making more space, delegating, getting help, getting things off that don't need to be there. Whatever board you think you need to be a part of, or whatever parent night where you think you need to volunteer, maybe quit half of it, or all of it.
Heather Nelson: Truly. Where I'm sitting in my life is because I'm doing so much. I'm over committed. And I'm slowly just peeling that back. Just sit at home for one day and not feel like you have to do something. I want to get to that point where I can just be present and just sit down and play legos, or go on a walk or be able to have conversations. All of that noise needs to go. And I am like, that's something I'm very self aware of. And I'm slowly peeling that apart and really saying yes to the right things, and no to the right things.
Elizabeth Webb: So I answer for you. I would say the default right now. When somebody asks for your time, the default is no or not right now. Not right now. I'll circle back with you. I'm in a time of simplification. Not right now. I'm not able to do that this time. Even if it's a great thing, even if it's a great project, I'm just hearing the need for spaciousness. So it's not right now, not this season. I can't do it this time. We'd love to do it in the future, possibly. Clear, clear, clear, clear, clear, clear. And with that spaciousness, after there's been a dissolving of all of these responsibilities that probably don't fill you up, then it's choosing. Making sure that you don't spend that time just on Netflix, or scrolling, or blobbing. Okay, time in nature. You said, a leisurely walk sounds good. Leisurely walking, finding the things that actually replenish you actively so that your life force gets to start coming back. But really becoming like a no girl, and just owning that and not feeling any guilt or shame about it. Because it's just like, no, no, no, no, no. What's the most important thing in your life? Your energy just has been giving it away for free. Oh, you can have some, and you can have some, and you can have some, and you can have some. Most of these people probably aren't paying you, and they'll just keep coming. Trust me, they'll just keep coming.
Heather Nelson: A lot with executives. That is probably its own whole mess because work is such a thing. What kind of things have you helped guide your clients through, whether you're in a leadership position, or an executive position, or business owner to help repair some of those relationships?
Elizabeth Webb: Oh, we're talking about it right now. It's all about, I would say the themes were in it is marriages that are suffering. It's longing for a new way, but not knowing how to get there. It's deep spiritual exhaustion, loss of curiosity about life. The existential questions, is this it? Sometimes they're at a brink of deep strife and struggle within their staff. Sometimes they're really bad communicators. They're really good business men or business women, but they communicate in a way that is really toxic to other people. So their top talent always leaves them, and then they feel victimized by that. The interpersonal relationship piece is huge, so I would say curating who gets our time, energy and attention. I was sitting on my phone last night. I was sitting in front of my friend Tanya, and I didn't even realize sometimes that I'll just talk to myself. I talk to inanimate objects. I'll talk to my car. I'm like, hey girl, how are you doing? I was going through my phone and I was like, oh, okay, this woman. Yes, I just met her. She wants to get coffee or a cocktail. No, I'm not going to be doing that, but we could go to an event together that I already want to go to because then, that's not personal time. And I was saying all this out loud, and I was like, my one on one time goes to deepening my existing relationships right now, or me. So that's a no, but she can go to a thing with me.
Okay, so I'll say yes to that. And she was like, I love hearing you talk through this. And I was like, yeah, I'm just so clear. And I have no because I've said no so much on my own behalf. Because if I'm also starved for energy, if I'm also a zombie woman, I can't help anybody else. I can't do this podcast. I can't help you. If I'm also like, oh, my god, girl, I barely got out of bed today. I can't help anybody. Helping people is my purpose on the planet. I can't do that shit. I can't be giving my time and energy away. And they want me to be on the board of this charity. They want me to promote this event that I don't care about. They want me to sell my books at this thing that I don't care about. I'm like, no, no, no. Maybe next year, not right now. So it's really the power of saying no. Well, truly, saying no in kind ways whenever possible with zero shame or guilt. Because every time you say yes, when you'd rather say no, you're selling yourself out. And that's how we get exhausted in one of the many ways, but that's one of the main ones.
Heather Nelson: My brain is just like--
Elizabeth Webb: Yeah. I know I've really kind of given quite a bit today in terms of ideas and tools. I'm so excited to hear what happens for you as you read the book. I'd really love to know.
Heather Nelson: Yeah. Literally, I just finished my last book, and I told you that I have a stack. I'm like, oh, which one should I read next? But I think based on our conversation today and where I'm at, I think this is it. This is my book, especially when it comes to relationships. Because I agree that that is one of the things that is very important to me. I keep looking over here because I have my vision board here. And on there is intimacy, family, quality time. But by the time I get to that point at the end of the day, I'm exhausted because I've given so much of my energy to other clients. Or again, things that don't serve you. It's like you are out driving around and someone cuts you off, and you literally just freak out, and you just gave them all of that energy. And you're like, why?
Elizabeth Webb: I would reverse engineer your life around what's sacred to you instead of giving what's sacred to you, the energetic scraps. Make whatever decisions you need to make saying, my priority is intimacy, quality time. All these things on my vision board, these are my sacred things. So how do I show up to these things? Energy rich. What needs to get off my schedule? Do I need to switch things around? How do I show up for what's sacred to me and hold it as sacred truly? Not give it the scraps, because the way that you're making decisions is not in alignment with your priorities. There's the whole problem right there. You'll always be unhappy and unsatisfied, because these two things aren't working. It's not in alignment.
Heather Nelson: So good. Give us one little piece of fire to end us with today, for us to have a fulfilling, energetic, magical life.
Elizabeth Webb: I feel like I've given you a fire storm, and I'll give you one more arrow of fire. Choose yourself now. Not in five months, not in five years, not in 40 years. Choose Yourself now in little ways, and each baby step where you say, I deserve this. No, I'm going to do this that I love, not tolerate this other thing. I'm going to make these decisions that are prioritizing me. I'm going to make them sacred. You will never, ever regret those choices. You won't, so do it now. Don't wait. And you can start with little micro choices. It's these micro choices that make up the fabric of our lives. So baby step your way back to a life that you feel excited about, and that's what I got for you.
Heather Nelson: I love it. Thank you so much, Elizabeth, for being here. Again, I feel like everybody's on my podcast for certain days when I need it the most. I needed that today to start this Monday, going into the holiday season next week. Tell me all the things, yes, tell me all the goods.
Elizabeth Webb: Okay. So you can find my book at madeformagicbook.com, madeformagic book.com. You can get the first chapter for free if you'd like to just check it out and see if it's your cup of tea or your cup of whiskey. And if you want to get the book, you can just go to Amazon and get it, Made For Magic. And online, I'm Positively Elizabeth everywhere. So Instagram, Positively Elizabeth. Website, Positively Elizabeth. I do lots of podcasts. You can search my name in the podcast apps. It's just my pleasure, and my dharma, my joy to be able to serve and share the truth as much as I can in ways that's helpful. I feel really honored to be here, and I really appreciate it, Heather.
Heather Nelson: Thank you so much. That was beautiful, and I cannot wait to read. I'm literally starting your book today, so I will keep you posted.
I hope today's episode resonated with you. And if it did, don't keep it to yourself. Spread inspiration. Share this episode on your socials, and tag me. And if there's anyone in your life who can use a dose of encouragement, pass it along. Looking forward to continuing this journey of inspiration with you. Until next time, stay empowered and connected.