Life Conversations with a Twist
Join me once a week for a new interview with a local, badass woman who has an amazing story to tell. Join me in conversation so you too can gain inspiration and empowerment from these stories! If you love hearing about leadership, relationships, families, motherhood and navigating hard times, then tune into my podcast and share with others. If you love what you hear, share and tag me on Instagram at @heathernelson.life. You can also visit my website at heathernelson.life.
Life Conversations with a Twist
Empowerment Unplugged: Find Your Power Beyond Labels with LaNysha Adams
"Empowerment is not something someone gives you. It's energy within you. The best another human can do is create conditions where your empowerment can shine, but YOU hold it." —LaNysha Adams
You don’t have to wait for someone else to hand you your power. If you’ve ever felt boxed in by labels, stuck in a rut, or wondered who you really are beneath all the roles you play, this conversation is for you. It’s time to rethink what empowerment really means—on your own terms.
LaNysha grew up surrounded by many cultures and languages, became the first in her family to earn a PhD, and faced a life-changing health crisis that forced her to rethink everything. Now, as a leader in student wellness and an author, she’s on a mission to help others find their own power from the inside out. Her journey is proof that resilience and self-reflection can turn setbacks into new beginnings.
Listen in for real talk on breaking free from labels, building resilience, daily reflection habits, and practical ways to own your power—all in one honest conversation.
Connect with Heather:
Episode Highlights:
02:13 The Importance of Language and Identity
10:57 LaNysha’s Educational Journey and Career Transitions
14:28 Overcoming Health Crisis and Recovery
21:22 The Principles of Me Power
27:46 Reflections on Life and Legacy
30:51 Live a Full Life
Resources
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Connect with LaNysha:
LaNysha Tufuga Adams is a Student Success Strategist and Founder of an award-winning education consulting and coaching firm, Edlinguist Solutions. With 20 years of experience in education at school, district, and state levels, she holds a Ph.D. and is a certified coach on a mission to revolutionize how people learn. Dr. Adams helps graduate students finish their degree programs with less debt. Her passion for assisting others to live on purpose, with purpose, led her to write her debut book: Me Power. She enjoys quality espresso and traveling when not chasing her toddler sons and husband around the house.
Heather Nelson: Hello everyone. Welcome to this week's Life Conversations With A Twist. I have Lanysha on my podcast today. Her and I just met two minutes ago, but I already love your energy. I've been stalking your story, and I'm so excited to have you here. So welcome.
LaNysha Adams: Thank you so much for having me. It's so cool to be here with you.
Heather Nelson: I've had so many past guests who've been on TEDx talks, and I'm so intrigued by this whole thing. I think it's so cool, so congratulations on that. Tell everyone a little bit about who you are, where you live, and a little bit of background about you.
LaNysha Adams: I'm based in Santa Fe, New Mexico. It's the capital of New Mexico. Wonderful place, number one travel destination in the world right now, according to this magazine that comes out, Travel + Leisure magazine. It's just so beautiful, and it has a lot of art influences and artists from all over the world come here. At my core, I'm a foodie, lover of people and lover of ideas, and I find joy in gathering around meals, and really breaking bread with folks. And food, to me, is about culture. It's about connection and care, all in one.
Heather Nelson: You need to come to Sonoma County, because we got lots of good stuff.
LaNysha Adams: We pair the food with the wine, that's the next level. I'm so curious, I think my number one strength is curiosity and love of learning. I love people in their stories. I really think that influences how I operate. And then whenever I answer this question, who am I? I always talk about who I am, at essence outside of the roles I occupy, because I think that's very important. But in terms of roles, I'm a mom. I have two small children. They're five and seven. I'm married. I work at a community college. I'm an author, and I really think about myself as a thinker with these ideas. I'm always looking for ways to connect dots across stories, and that's really like the heart of who I am.
Heather Nelson: I love that. I was actually just reading a book, and they were talking about how when we do introduce ourselves, it's always like, I'm a mom, I'm a podcaster, I'm a business owner. But we never really talk about who we are. And I need to get better at that, because I think it's so important that you lead with that, instead of just what's on paper.
LaNysha Adams: Yeah. It's the lazy way. If you just focus on your roles, it promotes this idea that who you are actually is the role, which underneath that is like, what you do if you retire. Or if you, heaven forbid, lose someone. Or there's always something connected to that that you can't control. So when something in life happens, you're having this crisis. Well, who am I then? And it's like, we really have to focus on the essence of who we are, independent of other people because your life changes. Things happen. There are so many twists. What do you do?
Heather Nelson: Speaking of twists, tell us a little bit about your journey. You could take it back to when you were a little girl, and what your aspirations were when you were a child? What led you to what you're doing today?
LaNysha Adams: Yeah. I think this is my first foray into picking because I studied applied linguistics when I was in college. So linguistics is the science of language. And when you think about applications of how you unpack language and social interactions, say there's an indigenous language that people don't speak anymore, and they never had a grammar, they never had a dictionary building that out, right? And then also with all the things, with the languages, for all the AI stuff we do, underneath all that is like linguistics. The science of language, how is that constructed? What algorithms do we use? What does that mean? How does it function? And the reason why I was so obsessed with this language idea and what we do with language is because my dad is from Western Samoa. My mom is a mix of different things, black in LA. And when I was coming up, I had this multicultural thing going, her parents are part Native American from Cherokee, but from a place in Oklahoma. And so we have all these influences, right? Black culture, a Native American Samoan, which is an island in the South Pacific. And then we lived in LA where my neighbors, everyone on that block spoke different languages. Armenian, Spanish, Farsi, Samoan, all these different languages.
So growing up, I really was like, oh, this is where I really love. All the foods associated with all those. Every culture, every single culture in the world, loves food, and they use food in ways to connect with one another. So I could have gone to hospitality, but I picked languages because I was really intrigued by like, what are the words, and how does it function? And then I think over time, I just kind of thought, oh, I could apply language. Not only as a teacher, but in education and policy. And so a lot of my work revolved around that. And now, I'm at the community college. I'm a director of the Student Wellness Center here. And every day, I get to play with language in all the ways because how we talk about people with disabilities, do we say disabled students? Or do we say students who are registered with this office? Do we say that they have a disability? Or do we ask them what's your diagnosis? So I really am intentional about the language that we use to help people feel more like themselves. More of who they are beyond a label, beyond an idea of like, what some external body has said about who they are?
Heather Nelson: Can more people do that? Can more people do the work that you're doing? Because honestly, even myself, I'm constantly trying to learn, how do you say things? People say Mexican or Latino. How you group everyone's background is. Especially when it comes to disabilities and stuff, I'm always like, how do you navigate that, and being respectful around it?
LaNysha Adams: We sometimes forget to just center the human experience. So as a person, I have an invisible disability in my heart. People are talking about disabilities. I think they're thinking about visible disabilities, like you are in a wheelchair, you have something with your leg, you have cerebral palsy, whatever. But there's so many things on the spectrum, and that categorizes you as your life being impacted by some condition that you might have. When I think about how we do that with language, I think about, what's the essence of being human, not just the individual person, but as a person, as a species, as a person on the planet? And I think we all want to be respected. We all want to feel secure. We all want to be safe in some sense that we belong here. And I think that's the heart of it. There are a lot more things that people want and need, but for survival, I think those are the basics. When we are interacting like that top of mind, it makes it so much easier. But it is hard when you're in an institution, and then the institution talks about things in this way. Then they put these labels on it, and then you need the labels in order to do so. You start going down the path where you're way far beyond what it means to be human when you're focused on labels and categories. I just think that personally.
Heather Nelson: Did you go to school? You went to school to learn this crazy thing that I've never even heard.
LaNysha Adams: Applied Linguistics.
Heather Nelson: Did you go straight to work for the college? Did you know that you wanted to teach?
LaNysha Adams: I knew that I wanted to go into education. So when I was young, I was like, okay, what do I pick? I think I was 13, and through the library, I learned that linguistics was the field. I was like, well, within linguistics, what do I pick? I figured that I wanted it. I wanted to be a professor. Then when I was 18, I got the scholarship from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. That was a 10 year scholarship. If you want to be a professor, you need a PhD. So I was like, okay, this is it. I'm a first generation college student. My parents had me when they were teenagers. They're not educated. I'm the first in my family to go to college, the first to graduate with a graduate degree. So that was kind of a big deal for me to come up with this idea. It just came from books. It came from knowledge like, okay, I want to do this. I need this degree. And then as I was going through the journey, I wasn't really committed to being with those people at the university because some of them are weird. I don't want to generalize, but I'll just say that when you're in an environment where it's all academic and based on your intelligence, these are all the nerds who got picked on, and then they got smart, and they got the PhD. So when they get in a position of power, maybe they're gonna be like, I'm gonna get those people who got me. That's how I think of it because I had some weird experiences.
I went to Cal State, San Marcos, shout out to all the Cal States. And that school was amazing. The best professors are there. And it was small. Then I left there to go to Columbia at Teachers College, and then I studied Applied Linguistics research there. And then I was teaching. I was training other teachers and doing all this other stuff. And then I thought, I don't want to be teaching anymore, because the more I learned about policy, the more I learned that I should be with those people. Because the policy sets the standards, and that's always in language. So then I started doing that, and then I kind of transitioned more into that. Because then, I was like, well, it's not just policy. It's research and then data, and then how do you analyze data. And throughout the thread, throughout all of it, if you're going to make arguments, you're going to have to use language in creative ways. But you need more than just language. You need data. You need real life examples. You need all these things, these stories that people live and make sense of. And then that needs to be incorporated in a way where people can really understand and respect our culture. The higher degree you have, the more respect you get. And so that's kind of why I chose to go down that path.
And the trajectory is as it was. But getting to college right now, I've been here for almost two years, a year and a half. And for eight years, I worked. So I worked in this regulatory state level policy blah, blah, blah after I was teaching. Then I changed, ran my own business, coaching and consulting firm in DC for eight years, and then had a sudden cardiac arrest. And then when that happened, and after the book came out, we left DC to move back to New Mexico, and I really had to change my life. I really had to think about what my life is going to be now that I have this thing that is different, that I never had before with my heart. And then it led me into thinking about, where do I want to put my money where my mouth is? I have all these skills, I have all this experience, but the focus of my life really needs to be on wellness. Holistic wellness. So then I saw this opportunity, and ended up getting it. It was like, boom, it's great. And it also works for 9 to 5 working mom, family life. Because it's out of college spring break, I have the same spring break as the kids. So then I just started thinking like, this is going to work for my life right now. And I'm still able to speak, talk, get called in to do other things. And then at my day job, I get to really practice what I preach about like, how do we make sure we embed wellness and holistic well being of us as people in this structure that I'm in?
Heather Nelson: So you alluded that you had a cardiac arrest, and this was only three years ago? Talk about that day and what happened, what your experience is, and how your life has really changed from that on a health level?
LaNysha Adams: For sure. January 2022, I and my family got Covid for the first time, because I think we've had covid a few times now. But I have two small children. And at that time, the kids were my baby. I had a baby during the pandemic. So June 2020, and so January 2022, he was one. He was taking a nap in the crib. My other son, he's three. He was playing with me. I was really stressed this day because I kept thinking about my deadlines for the book. And I was like, I had to make all these edits. I was supposed to come out in May. It's January, and I have all these edits, and I just could not see the forest through the trees. I was stressed. We had gotten Covid. I was getting over it. It was this day, I felt the best I had all year, because we got Covid at the beginning of the year. I was really sick. But then this day, I felt really great. The baby's taking a nap. My husband was like, look, you're not gonna cook tonight. We're gonna get pizza. He goes out to get the pizza. When he leaves, I have a sudden cardiac arrest. What I recall, and it's not the same as a heart attack. What I recall is I sat on the couch and was going to watch something on TV, and then the next thing I know, I'm waking up in the ICU two weeks later. What happened was that he went to get the pizza. I have this sudden cardiac risk. My heart stops. I'm out, lights out.
If your heart stops, I think you have about a few minutes, so somebody needs to do something before you officially did. And actually on the paperwork, it says sudden cardiac death. It's not sudden cardiac arrest. It's like I literally died because somebody had to do something to my heart in order to bring me back. So then he gets a pizza, comes back, sees me. He goes through the kitchen, puts a pizza on the stove, then he comes back out. He's getting plates, and he's talking to me, and I'm not responding. So then he was like, what? And so he sees I'm not responsive. Lights out. He immediately gets me on the ground, starts CPR. He's certified at CPR, but he had never performed it on a person, though. It's all theoretical. So now, he's doing CPR. And then our son, our three year old, was crawling around. He thinks it's a game because like, oh, we're gonna do this. So he has to keep this three year old off of me while he's keeping my heart going while calling 911, and then they arrive within 10 minutes, and it takes half an hour to work to get me back. I didn't come back. I didn't get it. I actually wasn't awake. So they got my heart going, but it took half an hour to do that. So then when I got to the hospital, I was in a coma for like a week, and ventilated, lights out.
And at the time, everybody was being told that I would potentially be brain dead. Because if you don't get enough oxygen to the brain, hypoxia, that's what happens. It happens in the air. It happens at high elevation or any point. You're not getting oxygen to your brain, you're not living. And so when I woke up in the hospital, can you imagine the last time I was in hospital was to give birth to my son. I was like, why am I here? They had restraints on me. I was trying to get out. It was crazy. I was like a caged animal. I was like, get me out of here. Get me out. Why am I here? And then they call my husband. They're like, maybe you can calm her down. And he's crying. He's like, oh, my god. I'm so happy you're not brain dead. I'm like, brain dead? Get me out of here. What are you talking to me about? Why are you talking to me like this? It was so crazy. I remember that moment because I'm in a hospital. Like, what the hell? I was like, where are my glasses? I was not a nice human being, was it? I was constrained in a hospital bed. You're like, what happened to me?
So that's kind of what happened. And then the consequence you have when you're in the hospital like that, you have to lie. I have to learn how to walk. I have to do all this stuff. I have to get all my systems back online, do all these tests, and then wear this device because no one knew at the time why my heart stopped. Really, the best theory they had was I had Covid pneumonia. Your heart stopped, but at the time, people were thinking of covid pneumonia. Like it's a lung issue. But now, a lot of the research points to how that virus can attack different organs, create inflammation in your heart, and that can cause other problems, which is what happened to me. And as a result, I have a heart condition called dilated cardiomyopathy. I have to be medicated for this for my heart to function normally, and it's a condition I have to live with. But it's a result of covid, which is insane. Because of this virus, I have this heart condition.
Heather Nelson: Yeah. I had pneumonia. I had covid and had pneumonia, and was pregnant. I still had three more weeks to go, and I was so sick for like 10 days, and couldn't eat. Finally, I went to the ER, and they found out I had pneumonia, and almost died. As soon as I got better, I had a baby. My son was like, I'm gonna make an appearance. And I gave labor 30 minutes after feeling I wasn't dying. And so they think it's because of covid?
LaNysha Adams: No, it's because of covid. It's idiopathic. But my old cardiologist from Hopkins was doing the earliest research. So if you look into it, like heart related conditions as a result of covid, most of the people are male athletes. I don't know how, I must have a lot of testosterone. I don't know. But there are women who are getting it like me and my age group, because the other people who have it are like 80, 90 years old. So when I go to the cardiologist, all the people who are like 80 plus, they've lived their life. They messed up their hearts. The heart just starts shutting down. I had no heart condition. I had no medical illness before, zero. Then can you explain this? A lot of the research is pointing to how other viruses can attack your heart. But with covid, it creates so much inflammation in the body. So then for some groups, it just centers around their heart, and that's what happened to me. It really created a lot of damage. So I was in a coma for a week, and in the hospital for two weeks, and it was very tough because I had to do all these therapies. And then my husband pushed back all the deadlines with the publisher. They were still savage, though. They were like, okay, it's not going to be May, but you need to get this done by September, October. I'm like, I just got out of the hospital. It's really hard for me emotionally, but I had some motivation. You know what I'm saying? I was like, oh, okay. I need to get to this point. I need to be physically like this so I could do this book tour next year. Look, I'm still living. I'm back. I'm living my life like, what am I gonna do?
Heather Nelson: And you got the book published, though. I thought the book was because of your experience, but you are already in the process of it. What is your book about?
LaNysha Adams: To me, power is about redefinition of Empower. So a lot of times, people think Empowerment has to do with someone giving something to you. And I really challenge that concept, because it's from inside. It's not a thing you can give to someone else. It's energy that's within you. So the best that another human can do is create conditions to where your empowerment can shine, but it's really you that holds that. So I really explain why we have this misconception. And then the second half is about the five principles of ME power, how you can practice it, and how you can exercise it more. Because life gets us down. Certain things happen that we can't control. Like, what happened to me? I could not control what happened. So then, how do I keep moving through life? How do you go after something that you don't know how to, or you feel like you can't. Because now, you have all these challenges. So the book really is about, I have stories. I have a lot of research there. It's a non fiction text, think Malcolm Gladwell, or some other text that showcases principles through story and research in a readable, digestible way. So where can we find it? Books are sold, and then I'm going to give your listeners a free audio book. So I'll give you the link for the free audio book, and people can listen to it. They can find it on Audible. You can get at the library, ask the library to get it, because then they buy it, and other people can have access to it.
Heather Nelson: So I just got a card because I don't want to talk about that, but my son really wanted to go to the library, so I will ask. The word empowerment is very much in my blood and what I do. I would love to hear the concept, but I totally agree with you that it does come within. And I think there's things that can influence it, but it is with you to change it.
LaNysha Adams: I'm excited to hear what you think.
Heather Nelson: So your TEDx, when did that come into play?
LaNysha Adams: Last year. I applied in 2023, I think I got selected in 2024. The way that that process works is like you pitch your idea that's beyond something promotional. An idea that is universal that might speak to people. It may not be a new idea. But the way that I talked about labeling and how we should question things that we take for granted. So this concept of talking about who I am in relation to a role, I think in order to move beyond that, we have to go through this process that I talk about in the TED Talk, which is what I'm calling radical interrogation. It's just like asking yourself, questioning who you think you are, and then who people have told you. Because people tell you what they think about you. Oh, I think you're this. Oh, I think you're that. Depending on who they are, it might be critical. It might be nice. It might not be so nice. Well, how am I defined in myself? And then how are people seeing me? Because if people are experiencing me like that, and that's not how I see myself, that could be a problem. You have to go through this process of, how do you see yourself is how you see yourself of how you're showing up in the world, because other people are going to receive you like that. So some people, they really struggle with this because they don't want to showcase who they are. Who they really are. They just want to showcase an image of whatever they might think. And I think that's fine. But if it's your choice, great. If you're just doing it because you've been conditioned and programmed, then that's what we should be questioning and challenging. I think I fundamentally believe that.
Heather Nelson: So good. I always believe that my speaker or my guests come on my podcast at certain parts of my life for a reason. And literally, I struggle with this. I know that who you see is who you get. Everyone's like, you're probably the most authentic person in the world. I do believe that, but I do have sometimes a hard time understanding and feeling, who am I? I've asked people, how do you see me? And they'll say, you're inspiring, authentic and these things. But I wish that I believed that, or not that I believe that. But I knew that without questioning it.
LaNysha Adams: I do know what you mean. I feel like what we think is this idea that is fixed, who I am is the same as it's always been. I believe there are elements of that. I call that essence of who I am, like I described. Footy, lover of people. I love ideas. How that manifests changes over time. Because I live life. When I was a girl, it looked like this. When I was a teenager, it looked like this. Now I'm a mom, I have these roles that shape the essence of me in it, and parts of who I am can only be showcased in certain contexts. But when we talk about self care, this is the idea I'm operating right now is like, where we really need to unpack self care is like, how do we show up for ourselves, as ourselves? How do we do that fully independent of roles? We don't have space to do that. We have to make space. But I think the more we focus on that, the better it is for us to integrate these different components. Because people, how they see us has nothing to do with us. Has to do with them. It has something to do with us. We're doing things, and they're receiving it. But who we are the essence, we get to determine that we get to choose. So if we're disconnected a bit from the essence, it's because we're too focused on other things. I'm not so focused on self in a way that is protective, that is caring, that is like a steward of what I'm calling me power. You really are loving who you are and all the changes that come with who you are, because we make choices, and then we get different roles. It's all interconnected. But at the heart of it is, this is what I'm about. This is how I show up in the world, and I'm choosing this. Some people, they don't choose. They just go based on their program. I think if we want to have more impact, if we want to have more positivity, if we want to have more happiness for ourselves holistically, then we need to do it from a place of choice, not from a place of autopilot or force.
Heather Nelson: So good. I'm going to make a little plug, because I'm doing a women's retreat. This will be our 5th women's retreat, and I look forward to that. Those retreats, even though I'm putting it on, are to create a space for women to figure these things out, or to have the space to think and do the thing. So that's my plug if anybody wants to come to my retreat. It is November 14, and then we do overnights as well.
LaNysha Adams: I'm excited. I gotta find out more too.
Heather Nelson: I would love for you to be a speaker at one of our next ones. Because that energy, and it's those moments of just sitting with yourself really, because when you do, it comes out, and you feel it. But you're right, all the noise is going on, and the kids are screaming, and phones are ringing, and yep, there's so much things, it's hard to just be. How has your life changed since your cardiac arrest?
LaNysha Adams: I think I'm slower. I think I was so ambitious. I am ambitious, but I always thought the irony of all ironies is I always thought I would die early just based on how I grew up, and what I saw from the community I came from. I felt like I was in a rush. Like I had to do this. I have to accomplish this. And then now, I feel like I've already accomplished mostly all of what I wanted. Not everything, but mostly all the life goal things. I have five states to get to 50. I'd like to spend more quality time with my friends and people that I love. But I don't have any goals like, I don't know how to say goals left in that way. And so I think the way I view life is somebody who is retired. So they've accomplished all this stuff, and then they are thinking about this next phase of life. What is their legacy? What impact do they want to leave behind? Not that I'm so accomplished and I don't have any learning and growing to do, but just the focus is not on the ascent. Because I'm like, okay, I did all this stuff. Now, I've done that. What else is left to do? And it's not about accomplishments as much as it is about connection and impact. How do I really help my children be independent people? They're 5 and 7. But how do I help them to be confident, independent people who are good people in the world, who do good things? That's all blood, sweat and tears building blocks, legacy stuff, right? That's kind of how I'm different. And I think before, I was not focused on that at all. I think I had in the back of my mind, but now it's at the forefront of how I do my life.
Heather Nelson: What is one big piece of advice, or something that you live by that you could pour into our audience today of how we should show up in our lives?
LaNysha Adams: I think one of the most powerful practices I've learned is to ritualize your reflection. It's one of the principles of me power. We talk about our growth. I think ritualizing reflection can be done through these retreats that are happening. If they're scheduled, I feel like you have to schedule time for it. Because if you do it in passing, then it's frivolous. So if you do it in a document, it's best. So even five minutes a day, I would say, you can pause and ask yourself what's working, what's draining me, what do I want to reclaim? And if you do this frequently and document it, you can really shift your direction from yourself. You don't need anything at that point. You just need to ask yourself the question, and dedicate time to answer it. And I think the more that you are committed to making it manifest, the more it will happen. That's really broad in general. But I think this practice of actually pausing to ask and reflect, and then gain meaning from it as you move throughout your life, that's so crucial. I think that's really helped me, and I know it helps so many people.
Heather Nelson: It's so beautiful. Like I said, I always believe that my guests come on at a certain time, that I need them in my life because those are things I'm struggling with right now, so thank you. I needed this on a Friday afternoon, for sure, after such a crazy week. Is there anything else that we didn't get to talk about that you want to leave with today?
LaNysha Adams: No. I just hope that people just really intentionally disconnect and unplug so that they can reconnect with themselves. And how we show up really impacts the work that we do, and the people that we are working with, and the people who are work impacts. It's like this holistic circle. I'm talking about me power, but I'm really talking about our me power, like a collective. It's like the individual and collective in one, because we're all interconnected. And I think we have to really care for ourselves first. So that's what I'd say.
Heather Nelson: Oh, my God, thank you. That was beautiful. Thank you so much for being here. It was such a pleasure meeting you. I know we're going to stay connected, because I seriously would love to have you at one of our retreats, because I think you could make a huge impact. But thank you. Thank you for telling us your story today.
LaNysha Adams: Thank you so much for having me. Take care.