Personal Podcast— 50th and My Bday!

"Every day is different. You never know what you're going to get. Some days are good, some days are bad, and I think we just have to continue on." —Heather Nelson

Life can feel like a never-ending juggling act—family, work, dreams, and the curveballs that come out of nowhere. If you’re tired of pretending it’s all easy, or wondering how anyone keeps it together when things get messy, you’re not alone. 

On her 43rd birthday, Heather opens up about her year of big changes, from the ups and downs of her surrogacy journey to navigating family transitions, business shifts, and personal growth. Through it all, Heather’s focus stays on gratitude, connection, and doing work that matters.

Tune in as Heather shares her reflections on surrogacy, family life, business pivots, mental health, gratitude, goal-setting, asking for help, and how to be more present—plus, her best tips for staying sane and moving forward when life gets tough.

Connect with Heather: 

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Episode Highlights:
03:26 Surrogacy Journey and Personal Updates
09:29 Business and Personal Challenges
13:36 Staying Sane 
16:30 Health Goals: Movement and Water
19:44 Practicing Gratitude: Antidote for the Hard Days
23:49 Being More Present
26:03 Goal: Have More Fun!

Transcript

Heather Nelson: Hi, everyone. Welcome to this week's Life Conversations With A Twist. I am coming at you on my birthday. You are listening to this live. It is my birthday. It is my 43rd birthday. Nothing special, still in my 40s. Still doing its thing. But I thought I would record today and give everyone a little bit of updates on what's going on in my life. 

If you're following my social media, you probably hear a lot about it, and I always love using my birthday as a time for reflection. I think anybody should. I'm lucky enough that I get a platform to share it, because I really believe in, kind of like seeing where you've gone through the year, setting goals for yourself, setting intentions and really manifesting. I really believe in the things that you put out there, the things that the universe is going to give back to, so I'm going to use this platform and this episode to reflect on what happened this year, give a little bit of an update of where I'm sitting in my life. 

I think the number one question that people ask me the most is, how do you do it all? As I was thinking about this episode, I was like, okay, I'm going to reflect, and then I'm going to give some takeaways. Because I think, yes, I'm sure everyone loves to hear my stories, and love to hear what's going on in my life. You know some of the things that are in the works, but I also believe that there are some takeaways that I want to be able to share with you that work for me, that I think you can apply to your own life, so I wanted to share those with you as well. And then of course, I have to set my goals for the next year, and just also remind myself of the things that I want to focus on. And it's always fun to go back and listen to these episodes a year later and see where you've come. See the things you've accomplished, see the things that worked and that didn't work, so buckle up. We're going to dab and rod in. 

The other thing that I wanted to celebrate is not only my birthday, but it is my 175th episode. Can you believe it? In 25 episodes, I will have done 200 episodes. And that means that I've shown up every week for the past four years. Crazy time, and I love doing it, and we'll dive in about my podcast as well. I just wanted to share with everybody a little update of what's going on in my life. For those of you who follow me on social media, you probably have seen it. There's some things I don't talk about. But I also just wanted to use this time to, again, document where I'm at this time, live time today. 

So I'm recording this a few days before my birthday. I finally got a house for myself. Quiet, and just got back from a walk, and really reflecting on this year and where I want to focus on for this year. So most of you guys are following around or following me along on my surrogacy journey. So if you are new here and you haven't heard this, welcome. If you want to hear more about all of my past surrogacy experiences, stories, you can go back to future episodes or past episodes where I really dive into more details. But I'm currently on my second. I actually want to say that it's probably my third surrogacy journey. 

Long story short, it's my third family that I'm working with, I should say. I just did my second transfer for them. And unfortunately, it didn't take. So we've done two attempts. One in May, one last month. And unfortunately, I am not pregnant, so we are back to the drawing board. The guys are meeting with the doctor today to kind of figure out what next steps are, what our options are. And so hopefully in the next few episodes, I can share more then. But right now, we are working on to see what attempt number three is, and I will keep you all posted. But we are pressing on. 

And most people have asked, am I okay? Or checked in on me, and I am okay. If you have followed my last few posts, last week was a really rough week, and we'll dive a little bit into more of what that looks like and why. But that obviously was part of it. I know mentally that I'm okay. I go into this situation knowing that this could happen, and I also truly believe that things happen for a reason. So while it sucks and it's really frustrating, because the process leading up a lot between the appointments, the getting the blood work done, taking medication and doing the hormones, it becomes a lot traveling to San Diego for the transfers of those things. But I know it's worth it, and I know it's worth the fight. And so hopefully, the third time's the charm. Stay tuned for more updates on that, but that is continuing. And hopefully, I have some good news soon. So that's number one. 

Number two, family life hasn't been the easiest. I think if anybody is following me, like I said on social, I had a rough week last week. Not only with this surrogacy news, but also just with life, work, family. Right now, family life is not as easy as it's been in the past. My family is in a very big transition time right now. My oldest daughter is in high school, so navigating more workload, more schoolwork. She has more classes. We're playing soccer. There's more commitments behind it, and so things haven't been as easy as I'd hope. Also dealing with teenager hormones. So last week was a little bit challenging, and it's just the new waters that I'm having to navigate. My oldest son is now in middle school. While he is my easier child, he's also going through hormones. He's going through a different transition, more classes, those things, different life changes. And so just navigating those territories with him as well. And then of course, I have a four year old, and he is wild and crazy. He tests every single patience I have, and I really feel I have no patience because I completely drained them out. But he is in school full time now, and we are seeing a little bit of a difference with him going to school and having more of a normal routine, schedule, making new friends, being more social, those types of things. So things are becoming easier, but they are still not. They're not rainbows and sunshine, I would have to say. 

I think one of the things that if you're listening and you're struggling as well, and I think most women in my life who have children are struggling at some stage in their children's childhood, every day is different. You never know what you're going to get. Some days are good, some days are bad. I think we just have to continue on and know that one day might be really hard, but the next day might be easier, and that we're all navigating different things. There's a lot of things going on in each other's lives that we might not necessarily know about, and I'm talking within our own family dynamic, and being able to create a space where we can talk about it. So that's something that I'm really focused on right now, and that was part of the reason why I've scaled back my business a little bit, and taken on a little bit less clients. Because I really want to be there for my children. I want to take them to school. I want to pick them up. I want to be able to support them as much as I can during this change in their life. You just gotta roll with the punches, and that's what I'm really trying to do, and really trying to focus on that. I also have to give myself some grace. 

And again, not every day is going to be perfect, and I'm not a perfect mom. I don't think there's such a thing as perfect. But I'm trying, and so that's probably one of the harder things I have going on right now. Obviously, I'm married. My husband has been out of work for almost two years now. He had back surgery. It'll be two years in December, so he has not been working, and so that obviously throws in some changes in our lives. I've had to be the financial backing of the family right now. And while we have two businesses, there's still a lot that happens. There's a lot of pressure. There's a lot of mental health that we're both dealing with, communication, those kinds of things. 

He doesn't like me talking about this, but we go to counseling, and I think that's something that has been really important for me to create a space that we're able to talk and talk through things that have come up, how we're feeling different situations that we can work through. I really believe that sometimes, you have to ask for help. You have to pay for the help, but it's something that's important to me, because my marriage is important. My family life is important. So those are some of the things that I've been struggling with, I would say, in the past year. But really trying to hone that in, and figure out better ways for us to communicate, and just have a more healthier home life. But again, taking it each day at a time, how it comes. And then, as I mentioned, I have two businesses. 

I have my event labor business, which has been such an amazing gift for us. It's a lot of work, but it's been very successful. That's honestly been what's supported us through this last year, so I'm very thankful for that, and want to continue to grow that. It is a huge need in our events industry, and I want to continue to support and grow that business. So that has been something that I've been focusing on as well. I also have my consulting business this year. This year, I really got some clarity around what I wanted to do, and what I wanted to do when I didn't want to do. I know really clearly what I don't want to do. I've been in the events industry for over 25 years. I don't want to do events anymore. I don't want to plan events. I don't want to work events. But for me physically being on site, planning anything, I'm just at a point now where it doesn't excite me, it doesn't fuel my soul. That's something that I needed to remind myself that, that is not the work that I want to do. So that is still a negotiation of what's happening. I definitely have been doing some deep dives into it, really trying to figure out what it is that I want to focus on. 

There's more to come, and I'm still processing through what that looks like. Alicia and I are still doing our women's retreats. We are planning our next in person full day retreat on November 14, and I'm really excited. We have three amazing speakers, and there's definitely some momentum going on with that retreat. I'm really excited to create that space for women, even for myself, and continue to do that work. So that's been really exciting. And of course, my podcast, as I mentioned, this is my 175th episode. I love my podcast. I think this is the one thing in my life that truly brings value, inspires me, that empowers me, that really feels my cup. And the more that I do podcasting, the more women that I meet, I continue to remind myself why I do this, and I want to continue to grow. I want it to be big. 

What I write in my journal every day is I want to be the number one podcast in my county. And someday, I would love to be the next Joe Rogan podcast for women. So those are some personal goals for the retreat or for the podcast. And to do that, obviously, I have a team now to support that. I have an intern that's helping me grow the podcast through YouTube and social media. And then, really, my personal goal for this year was to get on 24 podcasts. I think last time I checked, I was at 14. So continuing to do that, continuing to put my name out there in front of other audiences to get them to come to mine, and they can really continue to have amazing and impactful women on this podcast. I am fortunate enough that I get lots and emails for people who have these incredible stories that want to be on the podcast. So that's been amazing. 

One of my focuses this year is I really want to highlight some of the amazing women that are here in Sonoma County, and then just people who are doing good work. There's so many good things happening in the world. I know that sometimes, it feels heavy. There's not a lot of positivity in the world. But having these interviews, and having these women on the podcast, I think I will continue to inspire women and inspire people that there are good people doing good things in the world. So I will continue to be showing up, and I cannot wait for more to happen there. So that is kind of where I'm sitting right now in my life. I just look back, and the last few months have been really rough. But I'm excited for a change, and so just look at some of my things as I was thinking today on my walk about this podcast, so that is my life update in a nutshell. 

There's also some things that are going on in my life that people don't know about. There's some personal things that I'm not able to speak about at this point. When the time is right, I will. But there's also a lot of things going on. People will look at all these things and be like, I don't know how you do it. I don't know how you stay sane, how you stay positive. It's part of life, right? It's all growing and learning experience. Some things are harder than others. Some days are harder than others, but I truly feel very blessed to have the life that I have, to have the home that I have, to have the family that I have. And so I just have to remind myself that we go through these seasons of hard or good, and this is just my season right now. But to say all that, it is a lot. 

And again, people ask me all the time. They say, how do you do it all? And honestly, some days, I question myself too. But I do want to just give you some things that I continue to do in my everyday life that, one, keep me sane. Two, keep me moving forward. And three, allow me to do all of these things. And so I think that when you hear these, they're just going to be reminders of things that you can maybe implement in your life. If you're feeling stuck, or you're feeling unmotivated, or you're feeling in a weird spot right now in your life, I hope that you could take one of these and implement them in your life. And hopefully, it could change the trajectory of what's going on right now. 

So one thing that I do every year, and I actually do it every few months. If you are just feeling like life is just crappy right now, things are hard right now, take your phone out, go to your photos, your photo album, and go back to a year from now. Just go through your photos, and go to each of your photos. Go back down memory lane. And if you want to go back further, you can. But I always do it once a year. And if I'm feeling really, really in a bad spot, I go back further. Even when my kids were babies, because I think it's fun to see the journey, and to remind yourself that there are good times. So that was one of the things I did this morning. Just went through my photos from last year. It's kind of funny because you're like, oh, my god, I forgot that we did that. Or I forgot that I did that. 

And as I looked through last year, I was reminded of how many trips we went on. We went to Vegas, we went to Arizona, we went on a few camping trips. I did a lot last year, and it kind of made me smile and feel good. It reminded me that there are good times, and that you just feel good, and it filled your cup again. You can do this anytime, but that was one of the things I did today. Just go back and remind myself of how my journey was this year, and the highs and the lows. The other thing that I have been really trying to focus on is moving my body every day and drinking water. I am determined to move my body 30 minutes a day. 30 minutes is so easy to do, whether that's in the morning, whether when I drop my kids off at school, or it's an evening walk with the family, or a hike with a friend. Really, it's because of the weather that I've been wanting to be outside more. I bought a way to vest, and I go out, and I put a podcast on, or walk with a friend, and that has really helped me, one, to change my mindset. And two, if I'm ever feeling like crap or unmotivated, it really changes your mood very quickly. I encourage you to do that, but that's been something that's been a priority for me, I would say, in the last few months, more so than throughout the year. 

But as I used to go to Orangetheory, that was my exercise, and I loved it. But I was sick of waking up super early in the morning, driving, I wasn't feeling motivated anymore. So this has been my new norm, and I highly recommend it. Especially going with a friend, especially on the weekends. Go for a hike, get your little butt kick, climb up some mountains, and have some good conversations. And speaking of that, I really put focus around who I hang out with. I think the people you surround yourself with are super important. And if there's people that are in your life, whether that's friends or family, that really don't make you feel good, then you probably shouldn't hang out with them, or spend time with them. That's been something I've been super intentional about. 

Obviously, I have a family, so my time is a little bit more limited. My work's a little more limited, but I really want to make sure that I make time for the people who continue to support me, to inspire me, to make me feel good. To be able to have conversations with real conversations, not like, how are you? How's life? How's the kids? I want in depth, hey, I'm struggling with this. What do you think? And just being able to talk through some situations with other people, and then also to be there for them in different perspectives. So that's something that I've really been super intentional about this year is who I spend my time with. And then coming off of that, I think one of the things that I've been trying to do more of is reading and listening to podcasts. I really want what I'm consuming, whether that's social media, whether that's reading, or whatever podcast I'm listening to, if the content is inspiring or educational. It's something that's going to move my life forward. It's going to help me reach my goals. It's gonna empower me. It's gonna inspire me. I really make sure that I'm intentional about what content I'm consuming. I've been loving the books that I've been reading. A lot of them have been guests on my podcast, so it's been so cool to interview them and then listen to, or read their books of what their callings are, what they're trying to put out in the world. I highly recommend whatever you're consuming makes you feel good as well. 

Looking at my list here, the other thing that I have found super important, and continue to do is practicing gratitude. I write in my journal. Not consistent about it, but I'm trying to get better about it, especially in the evening when I go and wash my face and get ready for bed. I really enjoy my nighttime routine more than my morning routine right now. And so going and just reflecting on the day, I write down five things that I'm grateful for for that day. It could be an experience that I had with somebody, or it could be something special that happened with one of my kids, or good news, or booking a piece of business. Whatever it is. Something that I am happy about or that made me feel good, I really try and write about it. And there's something about thinking about that each day. It makes the harder days a little bit easier to digest, so I highly recommend this practice. It is helpful. 

You can just get a journal out, and then along with that, you probably have heard me talk about this if you've been following me for a while. As I write five things I'm grateful for, and then I write 10 of my goals. I have my vision board, and I have my 10 goals that I am working toward every single day. I write it down as if they were happening, because it reminds me to focus on those continuing every day. Every day I show up and I'm like, okay, these are the goals I have for myself. So what am I doing in my day to day that will continue to push that forward? And so that's been a practice that I've been doing for a while now, and I really do think that helps. I noticed the days that I don't do it, my mindset and my mood changes. So if you can be consistent about it, it definitely will help move the needle. 

And the last thing that I want to talk about is asking for help. Asking for help seems really simple. If you're trying to be a super mom and you're trying to run a business, you're trying to do all the things around your house and take care of yourself, do self care, be a good wife and do all the things you can't do. I think you have to really go through your things that you have in your life, what things can you get rid of. Things that have helped me to have more time to do things that are important to me, whether that's my business, my kids or my family, are dividing up some of the things you don't want to do. 

I hate grocery shopping. I do not grocery shop anymore, only Trader Joe's because they do Instacart. But I Instacart everything. I just brought back a house cleaner that is 4 to 5 hours every few weeks. I don't have to spend cleaning my house that I hate doing. I also really lean on the people that are in our community, whether that's your family or your kids' friends to help with soccer drop offs, soccer pickups, school pickups. Whatever it is, is leaning on the people around you like, we're all here. It takes a village, and I think that it's okay asking for help. And again, asking for help if you need counseling or friends advice. I think the more that you can accept that you can't do it all and really lean on the people around you, the less stressed you're going to be, the more time you're going to be able to have to really clear focus on the things you want to work on. So those are the things. 

So moving my body, being around people who inspire and lift me up, practicing my gratitude, asking for help, and continuing to consume inspiring content, whether that's reading, listening or social media. So those are my little takeaways. If any of those resonate with you, take one. Implement them in your life. Take all five, if you like. But those are the things that I try and practice every single day. And I promise you, it will move the needle. 

I want to wrap this up with a little bow. Kind of told you about where I'm at. Told you the things that are working and that helped me get through my everyday life. And now, I want to re-shift and put out in the future what I want this year to look like, the things that I'm focusing on. I really believe in the power of this. Because, one, I'm manifesting it. And two, it's almost like I'm telling you guys so you can hold me accountable. 

So one of the things that I want to focus on this year is being more present, and that's being more present in the moment. It's being more present with my family. It's not doom scrolling on social media. Again, the time that I spend doing things, I want to make sure it's intentional. But I just want to be more present. I want to slow down. I don't want to be so busy. I have worked multiple jobs at once since I was 15 years old. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to do it anymore. And because I don't want to do it anymore, one of the things that I really want to focus on is doing less work, but doing more impactful work. And what comes to mind for me is I really want to do work that moves the needle, like my podcast, my retreats. I'm working on doing some more vision board parties, hosting them for people. So really, again, not doing events, not taking on projects that don't feel my soul. Really doing things that are going to move the needle. doing things that are going to inspire and empower others. and doing good work. I want to leave this earth doing good work. And so that is something that has more on my heart more than ever. 

I also want to be better in communication. And something that's come up during counseling is I am not a good communicator. I hold everything in. There are certain people that I'll tell certain things to, but the people that matter the most, like my kids and my husband, kind of hold it tight. And there's lots of reasons behind that. And maybe someday, I will talk you through what that looks like, and how I've discovered it. But I am not great at communicating. I'm not great at tuning in and listening to my body, and listening to what I need and all the things. I just need to be in the moment. Because I think when you live in the moment and you feel the feels, you are just more aware and being okay with communicating how you feel. So that's something that I really want to focus on a lot more this year. 

My last thing is I want to have more fun. I feel like I'm so serious all the time, and there are certain people who really bring out fun. I know there's a handful of people in my life. When I'm around them, I can just feel how happy I am. I can feel the fun. I feel like myself. And I just want to do more of that. And so creating that environment to continue to do that. So those are the things that I want to focus on this year. and continue to do good work to inspire others through my podcast and the other projects that I'm a part of. But also just live the life that I want to live. That's something that I preach all the time. That's something I truly believe in, and I want to continue to show up for others doing that. 

I hope you enjoy this podcast. If I've lost you, I'm sorry, but I just thought that it would be important for me to reflect. I know a lot of people are always interested in what's going on in my life, and I did want to give you some takeaways that you can put in and implement in your own life. I hope you do so. 

If you love this episode, please share it. Tag me. Do the things. I am really trying to grow this podcast. So if you could head over to whatever platform you're listening on and write a review, I truly appreciate it. And the more you share on your social media, or YouTube, or wherever you hang out, any kind of love would be much appreciated. I hope you enjoyed it, and I will be back next week with some more inspiring women.