Simple Health Shifts That Can Change Everything After 40 with Terry Tateossian

"The weight loss and the fitness and the nutrition are just the gateway into that whole experience. Don't give yourself a timeline—that's the first sign of sabotage right there." —Terry Tateossian 

Ever feel like your body and mind didn’t get the memo on how you should feel in midlife? The energy dips, the stubborn weight, the nagging sense that you’re not quite yourself anymore—it’s enough to make you wonder if this is just “how it is” from now on. What if it’s not?

Terry Tateossian is a health transformation coach who helps women over 40 reclaim their energy, strength, and confidence without chasing impossible wellness trends. Drawing from her own shift from burnout to balance, she brings both hard-won wisdom and practical tools that make healthy change feel doable—and even exciting. Her insights cut through the noise and zero in on what actually works for real women in real life.

Press play for an honest, empowering conversation about fueling your body, resetting your habits, and finally feeling at home in your skin again. You’ll walk away with the mindset shifts and doable steps to ditch the overwhelm and get your spark back—starting today.

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Episode Highlights:

02:39 Terry’s Journey to Becoming a Coach

07:07 Challenges and Strategies for Weight Loss 

10:11 Exercise and Nutrition Recommendations

15:24 Alcohol and Substitution Strategies 

21:08 Retreat Experiences and Programs 

26:42 Advice for Overcoming Perimenopause and Menopause 

31:05 Libido and Body Image

49:21 The Importance of Consistency and Commitment

Connect with Terry: 

Terry's passion & experience of helping women regain confidence, ignite wellbeing and find their true purpose has been propelling her forward for the past 25 years. Terry has been recognized as Inc. 5000's Fastest Growing Companies in America 2020, Inc. 2020 Best Places to Work, NJBIZ Top 40 Under 40, Future 50 Fastest Growing companies in NJ/NY, WPO 50 Fastest Growing Women-Owned/Led Companies, Top 25 Leading Women Entrepreneurs, Top Female CEO Brava Award Winner, Best Company Culture in NJ and Top Women to Watch by HudsonMOD.

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Transcript

Heather Nelson: Hello everyone. Welcome to this week's Life Conversations With A Twist. I have Terry on today. We just met, which is what most of my podcast guests I get to experience. But I love these conversations because they're usually super organic, and we just dive in. And before I hit record, I was just telling Terry that I'm about to be 43. And everything that you do in your career and in your whole entire life is going to be such a hot topic for my listeners. So thank you for being here.

Terry Tateossian: Thank you for having me, Heather, it's a pleasure. 

Heather Nelson: So tell the listeners a little bit about who you are. Tell us a little bit about the work that you're doing, and then we'll just dive right in.

Terry Tateossian: I am a health and wellness coach for women over 40, and I also run in person retreats. This year, it has been mostly in Tennessee. We actually only have one spot still available for the entire year. I think I did 20 retreats this year, and the last one is October 1st to 5th. There's one room still open. This year, they've always been in Tennessee. But next year, we're adding Sedona, and we're going to do two in the south of France. And then after that, we're probably going to add Spain, Italy. And possibly, Lake Tahoe. So stay tuned. 

Heather Nelson: Tell me when you're in Lake Tahoe, because I live in California, so that would definitely be something in my wheelhouse. Do you live in Tennessee?

Terry Tateossian: I'm actually based out of New Jersey, but I'm half and half in Tennessee and New Jersey. 

Heather Nelson: So retreats?

Terry Tateossian: Yes. And coaching. So all that information, you can find it on my website, thehouseofrose.com.

Heather Nelson: Awesome. I love it. How did you get here? I'm always curious, because I do podcasts. Obviously, I'm a podcaster. But I also do retreats, too. And it's not something that you wake up and you're like, I am going to be this health and life coach. How does your journey get to where you are today?

Terry Tateossian: So my philosophy on how to become a coach is actually, you have to be coached for a long time. You have to go through the experience of being coached, and that was started for me in 2019. So January, 2019 is when I have reached the worst possible place in life. I had a business for advertising and marketing, and I had started it probably about 20 years ago. Prior to that, I was very busy. So as most business owners, we are overwhelmed, overworked, over stressed, and I happen to also gain 80 pounds in that period of time. So I was also overweight, and I'm 5′3″. I weighed about 210 pounds. I had my first child at 30, my second child at 35, and then at 37. Peri knocked on the front door, walked in, and made herself a roommate of mine.

Heather Nelson: I love it. I love that you act like she's your friend. Sometimes, you just have to embrace evil, right?

Terry Tateossian: She moved in, and unannounced. I didn't even know that that was in the cards for me. And sometimes, I didn't even know that Perry had entered the majority of that time. I didn't even now. Wasn't told that Peri was coming and staying. And I'm talking about perimenopause, and all kinds of things that went haywire on me. So I had no idea what was happening. So I started having intense anxiety, intense panic attacks. Started abusing alcohol. I was very overwhelmed with just normal life, things that I could handle before I wasn't able to handle them. Now, the plot twist is at 37, I was still wearing pregnancy clothes because I was not able to drop the weight. And so my mind was in a completely different place. I had a two-year-old who was wearing pregnancy clothes. What is this thing called perimenopause? That wasn't even in the cards for me. It wasn't even crossing my mind. So I experienced a lot of very odd symptoms, and I thought it was mainly due to the fact that I was overweight, and so I started this journey of trying to figure out, how do I lose weight? And eventually, ended up knocking on the door of a coach who guided me through the right way of losing weight, getting in shape, and building muscle. And then at 42, Peri moved out. 

Heather Nelson: But you lost 80 pounds? 

Terry Tateossian: I did. I lost 80 pounds. So the first year, I lost 30. And then the next two years, I lost another 50. And that's how I became a coach. So I went through the entire experience of being a business owner, being overwhelmed, overstressed, going through perimenopause, going through a health journey, losing 80 pounds naturally. So this was about 12 years ago that I started to think that we didn't have all the fancy things we have now. HRT wasn't even a thing back then. I had never even heard of HRT until a couple of years ago. And obviously, GLP was not part of the landscape back then, and so I had to do it the old fashioned way. That's how I got here.

Heather Nelson: I have so many questions, because I'm literally sitting here in the same exact space you were. But I'm 43, definitely not in my weight that I would like to be. And I battle this because I'm about to be a surrogate again. And so in my head, I'm like, oh, I'm going to be pregnant. Just give up, super stressed all the time. I own two businesses, have three kids. I totally get it. And it's so hard because some days, you do really good, and you have this routine, and you're working out, and you're eating healthy. And then you just have one bad day, and it just totally just sets you back. Tell us a little bit about what that journey was like for you to lose 80 pounds. Some tips on how to get started, and how to continue.

Terry Tateossian: So lots of trial and error, a lot of failure, a lot of days that we're off, a lot of learnings, a lot of self sabotage that just kind of comes, creeps out of nowhere that you're not even aware that it's self sabotage. So a lot of times, self sabotage shows up as a really kind voice that shows up as NO, but you're so tired, you've worked so hard, take a break today. And it sounds like a really good idea. But that self sabotage or things like one piece of chocolate cake is not going to hurt you, it's not that big of a deal. And then you have it, and then you go through the entire cycle of shame, blame, quitting and then restarting over again. So that's also self sabotage. There's so many ways that it shows up. And part of the journey is uncovering all of the different faces of old stories that we have adopted as our own, that we tell ourselves repetitively over and over again that may not be true any longer, and so that whole process of rediscovering who we are, what our purpose is, what our passion is, what are some outdated ideas, thoughts, beliefs and stories that we tell ourselves daily, and how do we get past that. That's all part of the journey. That is actually the journey. But the weight loss, and the fitness, and the nutrition are just the gateway into that whole experience. 

One of the things I always tell women is, don't give yourself a timeline. You have some body fat you want to drop. A lot of times, I hear things like, I need to drop this in three months. I have 50 pounds, and in three months, I need to lose 50 pounds. And that's the first sign of sabotage.  Because what it implies is that there's an end to the journey, that there's an end to the diet. Quote, unquote, there's an end to the lifestyle. And as soon as we reach that point, we can go back to quote, unquote, normal life. And that was the cycle I was in. So I would do these things, I'd drop a couple pounds, and I'd go right back to the way I was before. And that kept repeating over and over again, until I finally realized like, hey, man, you got to do this for life. If you have one day where you fall off the wagon, that's okay. You get right back on,, and you continue like nothing happened. Because otherwise, you're just going to regress back.

Heather Nelson: It's truly a lifestyle change. Even just creating a habit takes 30 days. So now, you only have three months, and then you've adapted these new habits, and then you just go back. I could just imagine the yoyo effects, but it's really the mindset of like, this is a long term change. This is a long term lifestyle change that you have to make in order to achieve the goal.

Terry Tateossian: They say that it takes 30 days, but I don't agree. Because in my personal experience, my lived experience, as well as coaching other women personally, I think it takes 12 months. 

Heather Nelson: Especially in your world. That was your journey, right? And I love that. You hear all these stories about, especially at our age, and I'm saying our age because I'm assuming, how old are you? 

Terry Tateossian: I'm going to be 49 this year.

Heather Nelson: That we need to do more weights, that we do less cardio, do more pilates and strength training. What types of exercise at our age should we be focusing on?

Terry Tateossian: So each person is very individual, right? It depends on your fitness history, on your nutrition history. It depends on what you've been doing the last two years. Have you been exercising in any capacity in the past two years? What does your nutrition look like? So there's a lot of bio individual markers that need to be taken into consideration. So for example, if someone has been lifting weights consistently, let's say for five years, my approach would be to look at their strength, obviously, their mobility, flexibility, stability and their cardio fitness. And start incorporating a little bit of that, while also still keeping the weights. So cardio is great. I'm not subscribing to the latest social media messaging out there that we all need to stop doing cardio. Because if you're not in good cardiovascular shape, you will have a pretty hard time doing weight lifting, because you need to have that capacity there. And if you do a lot of weight lifting over time, you start losing mobility and flexibility, because you're not necessarily doing yoga and pilates. I'm not against yoga pilates, either. But if you've only been doing yoga and pilates, and have done no strength training or whatsoever your entire life, then that's another area where you could use some improvement. So it really depends. My programs include everything. And how much of it depends on the person. But every program, and every woman in my coaching team does Pilates, yoga, cardio, steps, strength training and nutrition.

Heather Nelson: I would assume you customize it. Like you said, everybody's body is different. Everybody's body takes two different types of exercises. There's not one perfect little box that everyone can fit into.

Terry Tateossian: Absolutely. But strength training is non-negotiable, especially as we get a little bit older. 

Heather Nelson: What about nutrition? I feel like that's always such a hard one. What is some advice or tips that you have for nutrition? And especially, I would say, busy moms. You obviously know firsthand doing all the things that you do, how do you maintain a better nutrition lifestyle?

Terry Tateossian: Something that I notice often, and it's a little advice. And when I say often, I mean all the time. Very, very often is under eating and consistent eating, and that's a reflection of our lifestyle. So we're very busy. A lot of us don't like to eat in the morning, many of us don't eat enough protein. So the average amount of protein, if I were to look at everybody that I've worked with. And so far it's been about 600 women that I've worked with directly, either at retreats or direct coaching. The average I would say that a woman eats as far as protein without intervention, without a coach, it's about 70 grams of protein per day, which is the absolute bare minimum just to function. And then the other thing I noticed for women that do not have a coach is, most of the time, they don't eat breakfast. They do unintentional intermittent fasting. So their first meal of the day is usually 1:00 pm, 12:00 pm. Sometimes, I've seen all the way into 4:00 pm, and the caloric intake per day is inconsistent. So one day, I'll see something like 600 calories for the entire day. And then the next day, I'll see 3500 calories because they're compensating for the deficiency of the day prior. So there's a lot of inconsistency as far as calories across the week, for example. And then the other thing I see quite often is it goes hand in hand with the low protein, very high amounts of fat per day, and carbs. So yeah, that's what I would advise not to do. Do the opposite of those things.

Heather Nelson: I am the worst at all of it. You had mentioned this when you were talking about how your lifestyle was before you lost 80 pounds. And this is something that I struggle with. I also see my friends struggle with alcohol. I live in Wine Country, which is one of the biggest wine producers in the United States. So it's always around us. It's always available for us. And I feel like, as moms, as you said, there's so much stress. You're like, I'm just gonna have a glass of wine. You own wine at the end of the night, and a bottle later, you're like, great. Just drink a whole bottle. What is your advice on how to kick that? How can it be limited? I think that is probably all of our biggest struggles, especially when we're socializing.

Terry Tateossian: Such a great question. So that's how I started. I would have a glass of wine, and then two, three, then four, and then the bottle. And I would drink the whole bottle. It's not that hard, all right? And then the bottle would be gone. And then I would start thinking, oh, wow. What else can I do? So that's when the vodka started coming out. And I disguised it as a very specific drink. I was very picky about it because, God forbid, I'm going to call myself an alcoholic. So I would have the Grey Goose on the rocks with a basil and the mint muddled with a spritz of lime, and I would start that, and then one wouldn't be enough. I'd have two. I have three. And then all of a sudden, one morning, you wake up, meaning me. And the first thought in your mind is, do I have enough Grey Goose for later tonight? And that really took me by surprise because I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a minute. That's your first thought? That's what you're thinking first thing in the morning? That's a red flag. And I started the journey of kicking it, getting rid of it, and stopping it. What I did is it had become a habit, and it had become a ritual. And so I had to figure out, how do I replace that? 

I ended up replacing it with an ice cream, Nutella and all kinds of things that I was not supposed to do, because I didn't know that when you stop alcohol, you're going to have massive sugar cravings. It's all sugar. And then I had to figure out, how do I replace ice cream and Nutella? And so I came up with the Ninja Cream Protein Ice Cream. I could have a huge, giant pint size portion of that for 280 calories, the way that I created it, with almond milk and 0% yogurt, Greek yogurt and some flavoring. And I could have a nice big pint. And if I compare that to Haagen Dazs, Haagen Dazs was 1500 calories, and I was snagging that at 280. And so I figured out substitutions and replacements. I substituted alcohol with sugar. That was not a good idea. And then I had to figure out, how do I substitute those things with lower caloric, higher volume foods that were going to keep me on track as far as my weight loss goal was concerned? And that would be my idea, to find a way to replace the habit and the ritual, because our mind is looking for it more than our body is. It's kind of our coping mechanism. Maybe we can find something else that will give us the same relief, in a sense. But without the ethanol or the sugar.

Heather Nelson: That's the hard one. I think that once you can master that, you would feel so much better. And I love your journey through that sugar. Someone just posted the other day. They're like, this is a high protein, like tiramisu. And I was like, I need that. Again, substituting something with high protein, but still tastes yummy. And now, I feel like there's so many options out there. You can search the internet for all kinds of ways to incorporate more protein, and make it taste yummy.

Terry Tateossian: There's lots of non alcoholic wines, non alcoholic kinds of mixed drinks that you could still have the sensation, the ritual and the habit without the ethanol.

Heather Nelson: Yeah, I know. I just went to Total Wine & More, not to get non alcoholic, by any means. But I walked down the aisle and was like, I was so surprised how many options there are now, and it's just continuing to grow. Again, I'm here in the Wine Country, and some of my clients are wineries. They're like, well, people aren't drinking anymore. And you're like, you're right, they're not. As a winery, do you still engage and create an experience without the alcohol as a focus? It feels like an ongoing conversation. But I loved your advice on that. I definitely need to take note of that. You do one on one coaching and retreat. Talk about your retreats. Do you talk about the same things as you do in your one on one coaching? And what do your retreat experiences look like?

Terry Tateossian: Sometimes, people are interested in these topics, like nutrition, strength training, yoga, pilates, mindset, sleep habits, alcohol, things like that. Sometimes, people just want to enjoy their time in the fitness type of environment. So our retreats are all based around lifestyle medicine. So we go through the actual activities that help your exercise and your activity level. We do yoga, pilates, and hiking. We do have a strength training circuit class. We do some really great meals and nutritional demonstrations, essentially where I show people how to put things together. The meals and the cuisine is all Mediterranean food, which is known for its health benefits. We spend a lot of time in nature. So we go out and hike in the Smoky Mountains and in the Cherokee National Forest. We go and spend some time at waterfalls. And then we also connect. All the women connect with each other. They share their experiences and their lives with each other. They start to form relationships that they can carry on forward after the retreat. And we talk about sleep. How important sleep is. We get spa treatments, facials and massages. We talk about the lymphatic system. We actually had a workshop on how to do lymphatic dry brushing with a workshop around it. We have sushi class, a cooking class at another retreat. We do photo shoots. So if someone has something to celebrate, we do a flying dress photo shoot, which is fabulously fun.

Heather Nelson: They like, obviously, multiple day retreats.

Terry Tateossian: They're five day retreats.

Heather Nelson: My co-partner in our retreats, we've done overnights. Two overnights, and then we do day because we're trying to see what the market is. I'm always intrigued by what everybody else is doing. How many people typically go to these events? Do you try to keep it to a smaller group?

Terry Tateossian: I try to keep it up to 10 people?

Heather Nelson: You can probably relate, especially in your early parts of the retreat, you want more people there. But then the more you start to do them, and they are more intimate, there's such a bigger impact that happens. Smaller always feel better.

Terry Tateossian: Yeah, absolutely. I love smaller retreats. They allow people to connect on a deeper level, to have more meaningful conversations.

Heather Nelson: I love it. Let me know when you're in Lake Tahoe, because I would love to look into that, for sure. Talk about your podcast? You have a podcast, what are the topics that you talk about? And how can people find you?

Terry Tateossian: So we talk about transformation in all senses. Personal, professional, emotional relationships. We talk about how to get over some self sabotaging behaviors, how to manifest? There's a new episode coming out on energy and things like that, so it's a very exciting love project. We have a few new episodes coming out. So excited about that.

Heather Nelson: I love that. How long have you been doing podcasting?

Terry Tateossian: It's been, I think maybe a year.

Heather Nelson: And you do solo episodes.

Terry Tateossian: I can't get used to talking to myself.

Heather Nelson: It is very bizarre. I have to record myself with the camera off because I get too distracted to look at myself, so I do more interviews. But occasionally, I will do some solos. But, yeah, I'm with you. It's hard to talk to yourself. You keep saying WE, I'm assuming you have a team behind you.

Terry Tateossian: Well, there's always a team and everything, right? There's a team, and I appreciate them very much. We have yoga teachers, a spa therapist, and a chef. There are more coaches for one-on-one coaching.

Heather Nelson: I love it. What's next for you?

Terry Tateossian: I really love everything I'm doing, so I want to keep it all the same. There is a cookbook coming out later this year of all the different recipes that we serve at The House Of Rose, all Mediterranean cuisine. And there's a Sedona retreat next year, in the south of France. And I will cap it at that, because I am happy with all the things.

Heather Nelson: I love that. I feel like I do too much, but I'm like, I love everything I do. So it's like, how do you continue to be inspired and not feel like you work so much, but you love everything you do? What is The House Of Rose?

Terry Tateossian: That's the coaching and the retreat company.

Heather Nelson: You said the cookbook has meals from that. So when you're doing coaching with people, you provide them with meals, recipes, things like that?

Terry Tateossian: Exactly, yes.

Heather Nelson: I love that. Anything else that you want to talk about from your journey? Any little fun takeaways for the listeners today?

Terry Tateossian: Just hang in there. Eventually, Peri's going to move out of your house, and you can celebrate that day, and she's gonna ghost you. She's not even gonna tell you that she's moving out. She's just gonna, one day, sneak out the back door. And you're gonna be like, oh, wow, I got all my space back. I got my body back. I got all these. I got my mind back. You're just gonna feel a lot better. So I totally understand that it's a whirlwind during that period of time when she's there. But inevitably, she will leave. There is an end point to it, not forever.

Heather Nelson: What is the typical span in perimenopause?

Terry Tateossian: Everybody's really different. I started at 37, and finished at 42. But a lot of people start later, and it lasts longer. Some people start in their 50s, and it goes all the way into their 60s. So everybody's really different. It's very bio-individual. It depends on your lifestyle, your stress level. A lot of people enter early perimenopause due to stress, which I feel like I'm one of those people. I was very stressed back then. I don't know. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's hereditary. I have no idea, but it's very individual. But I am hearing a lot more and more women entering perimenopause in their mid 30s.

Heather Nelson: And then after perimenopause, there's menopause. Is there usually a certain time between the two? Do you get a little bit of a break?

Terry Tateossian: Menopause is literally one day. It's the last day of when your period showed up. And then after that, it's post menopause.

Heather Nelson: And then it'll hopefully chill again?

Terry Tateossian: Hopefully.

Heather Nelson: My husband is like, what is wrong with you? And I'm like, I don't even know. Some days I'd like, I don't even know. I just don't feel like myself. It's hard to feel grounded and stay motivated when you're just not feeling right. But you're telling me that if we continue to eat healthy, exercise, some of those symptoms subside a little bit.

Terry Tateossian: And reduce stress. That's a big one. So take things away for a little bit. Give yourself room to go through this natural and normal transition in life so that you're not so overwhelmed, because your body's working really hard. It's kind of like being a teenager again. So if you think about what the body goes through in the adolescence years, you're in a growth spurt. Hormones are fluctuating. There's a lot of things happening mentally. Things are changing in adolescence. Think about what a critical time that is for us, and how volatile it could be? There's lots of things that could happen in either direction. Good, bad, neutral. So if we don't have, or we don't give ourselves the mental space and the physical space and a little bit of relief from stress, we're just constantly operating in overdrive. So menopause, perimenopause is the same thing. We're going through a very similar thing. The only other time we go through something like that for some women is pregnancy. So imagine going through pregnancy and having an avalanche of constant nagging responsibilities and obligations, and not having two minutes to breathe? It would be a very stressful experience. Same thing with perimenopause. Just give yourself the space, the grace and the time to go through it.

Heather Nelson: Such great advice. I do have a question that popped up into my head, and I remember it being some one of the topics you mentioned, hormones. I feel like I'm in this stage that, the sexual world is just not for me.I find myself not excited or want to be intimate with my husband. Is that part of the symptoms for perimenopause?

Terry Tateossian: Sometimes, for some people. When we think about your libido prior to this, I get this question all the time. Think about, let's say in your 30s, if someone were to put you in a situation where you were working 16 hours a day, you barely had time to brush your hair, take a shower, brush your teeth, whatever, right? You were constantly hounded by, doesn't matter what, let's say 10 adults at work constantly needed something from you. You're not in perimenopause, but you're so stressed that your hormonal system is contributing its energy. Your libido is contributing its energy. Think about it as you're borrowing energy from all your systems in order to operate in this highly intensified state of needs that you need to get done throughout the day. Would you go home and have any energy for anything else? No, right? And so with perimenopause, you have less energy than you normally would, let's say, in your 30s because your body is performing a whole bunch of other functions behind the scenes that you're not even aware of. It's happening automatically. And so now, you're trying to operate in the same capacity that you are used to. But behind the scenes, you have less resources because the body's busy. The body's like, hey, man, listen, there's construction going on here. I know you're oblivious to it or whatever, but we still need resources for what's happening. And you're like, no, no, no, no. I gotta do all this other stuff over there. And the body's like, sorry. That's not how it works. We're disconnected from that, because there's so much expectation in our human life that we put onto ourselves. So many obligations. There's a disconnect between what's actually happening, and what we're trying to achieve on the front end of it.

Heather Nelson: How do we tell our husband that? Because they are like, well, you're not attracted to me anymore. Or you never want to be intimate. And I'm like, I literally just am at capacity, and I just want to go to sleep right now.

Terry Tateossian: So how about if the husband tries to take some of that stuff away from you, right? So how about giving you three hours a day just to get back into your body. Embody yourself, come back into your body where you have a few hours of breathing space to feel like yourself again, and to have something to give. Because when you're being intimate, you're giving something. You're expending your energy towards that activity or that person energetically, physically and emotionally. If the tank is empty, it is not going anywhere. You gotta put gas in the car.

Heather Nelson: Oh, the things that we have to struggle with at our age this time. And then raising children is like a whole another thing. 

Terry Tateossian: I think that's pretty normal. You're depleted. You're running constantly, taking care and doing things, and then you're expected to get in bed. And instead of just going, thank God, I'm in bed. Leave me alone. That's how I felt. 

Heather Nelson: That's how I feel every day.

Terry Tateossian: During that time period, I didn't go to bed and go, all right.

Heather Nelson: It's so true. I guess my question is, after we get up perimenopause, I guess it depends on our lifestyle, right? If we're still running 5000 miles an hour, does our sex drive ever come back?

Terry Tateossian: Personally? Yes. There's a lot of other things that could happen. There's a lot of different symptoms, but there's a lot of solutions for those things as well. So we're very lucky to live in a time period where there's all of these things available to us, and it doesn't have to be the end. I hope not. 

Heather Nelson: I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on this too. If we're not feeling good about ourselves, whether we are, we don't love our weight, we don't love how we feel, we feel out of body. And to be intimate is so hard, because it's hard for us to feel sexy, or feel wanted. And so I think that's a whole another thing that we have to tackle. Feeling good about ourselves.

Terry Tateossian: So I'll tell you a funny story. So when I was 80 pounds overweight, we would go to the beach and I would be covered from head to toe. I would have a dress on, I would have leggings under the dress, and I would refuse to wear a bathing suit. Because, oh, my gosh, how could I possibly wear a bathing suit? I'd sit at the beach and sweat it out, and it was just so odd. Everybody would be like, what is wrong with you? Where's your bathing suit? And I was like, I cannot be seen. That would have been mortifying to me back then. So I had to unlearn that behavior and be okay with my own body. But that took a lot of work. So yes, lifting weights is going to help you feel proud of your body for what it's able to do, even if you're not hitting that magic number on a scale because your body composition changes. When you're lifting weights, you build muscle, you lose body fat. Maybe the number on the scale stays the same. It doesn't matter. You're just going to feel really good physically, emotionally and mentally. And you're going to be proud of yourself for what you've achieved, what you've overcome. Fixing up your nutrition is going to give you energy. Clean energy. So imagine that you're driving a Maserati or whatever kind of car. I don't even know their names because I'm not into cars. But let's say you're a Maserati.

Heather Nelson: I feel like Maserati, you're right there.

Terry Tateossian: Alright. So we're a Maserati, and we go to the gas station and put diesel in it. Whatever it is, the cheapest option. That Maserati is not going to run at its max performance. You have to put the ultra best fuel into it if you want the fuel to match the vehicle. So we're all Maseratis. We're all walking around and living, breathing. I call it natural intelligence, rather than AI natural intelligence Maseratis. We're feeding it diesel or whatever kind of the worst possible fuel you can imagine that vehicles are going to choke, it's not going to run efficiently, it's not going to perform at its best horsepower. It's just not going to feel the same. And eventually, it's going to break down, which is what's happening to our bodies because we're putting in a subpar fuel in the form of garbage, packaged non foods. And so when you change that up and start putting in premium fuel into your body, exercising and lifting weights, taking care of your physical vehicle, you're going to feel proud of yourself. You're going to be like, yeah, I'm hot, I'm sexy, I'm cute. Pay attention to me. Part of the reason why our libido is low is because we don't want anybody to pay attention to us, because we're ashamed. And so when you cut yourself off from admiration, you cut yourself off from getting a compliment, you're cutting off that energy that giving us to fire us up. Like the spark, you're cutting it off. You're like, nope. I'm closed for business, so don't even send the spark in my direction.

Heather Nelson: It's so true. It's so true. I think for me where I sit right now, I'm like, all this is so inspiring. And I'm like, okay, I just need to start and continue to do the work, to show up for myself, continue to give myself good food and not drink alcohol. And it's so funny, this is my headspace too. I'm like, oh, I already screwed up this week so I'm just going to wait till Monday. I'm just going to get back on my routine when the kids go back to school in two weeks or whatnot. I'm assuming that you're just going to keep pushing it off and keep telling yourself that, oh, well, you can just restart it again.

Terry Tateossian: Yeah. So what I tell everybody when they talk to me about coaching, the question usually is, when should I start? I'm like, this second. Right now, you start when the iron is hot. Just strike, just go boom, and you're in. That's it. It's over. Now you're in. And now, we're in this container, and there's no going back. I lock the door. You can leave. We can't get out. So now, we got to figure out how do we move forward. Because that in and out, in and out, I'm not sure that's just a lack of commitment to it. And it's coming from fear of failing. So when you're iffy about something, you give yourself a way out, and you're like, yeah, I'm going to bomb. That inconsistency that your mind is trying to create is a fail safe. If somebody says to you, I'm going to lock you up into this room, you cannot get out, and you have to figure out how to make this work. You don't have a choice now. You're going to do it. You're not going to eat, or you're not going to be able to survive. So once you decide, you strike and you're in. And now you're like, okay, I'm going to figure this out. And every day, you might make mistakes. But you're still going to keep moving forward because there's no going back. The door's locked. That's it. 

And a lot of times, that's exactly what we do in our coaching group. So if somebody says, well, I'm going on vacation next week. I don't care whether you're going on vacation or something's coming up that's going to be part of life, things are going to happen. But we can still figure out what to eat, because you're going to eat anyway so why not figure out what to eat maybe three days in advance and have it ready. Know exactly what the plan is, and take out decision fatigue. You're not going to have to think about what you're going to eat because you've already figured it out. The past version of you figured it out and made the menu. And future version of you is going to be like, yes, there you go. I got this. Especially when we're really busy. So when we're super busy, decision fatigue is a destroyer of the lifestyle, and it's understandable. Like, oh, my gosh, who the heck wants to think about another thing, or figure out what the heck we're going to eat, or what the right macros are. No, you don't want to do it at the moment. You want to have it planned in advance. So a very easy structure to your meals. A lot of women don't like to eat in the morning, so have a protein smoothie. Easy to digest. Just drink it quickly. Be done with it. So protein powder, spinach, kale, banana, apple, whatever you like done. Next meal, maybe you're still not hungry. Your appetite hasn't kicked in yet. It takes a couple of months before you get your appetite back. So maybe you have a yogurt parfait with some berries with a sprinkle of granola, maybe a tiny bit of PB2 powder to give it a peanut buttery taste, and a tiny dreisel of honey. Done, you're done. That's your second meal. 

Third Meal, maybe you're still not that hungry. Egg whites, easy to eat, easy to digest. So five egg whites, two yolks, a piece of toast, maybe some squash, maybe some vegetables. Whatever kind of vegetable you like, it doesn't matter. Just keep it on. Not so starchy. So tomatoes, spinach, mushrooms, whatever food that's so easy to digest. And if you're on the go, every place now offers egg whites. You could get an egg white scrambled omelet with mushrooms and spinach, and a little bit of feta cheese, or whatever. And then you have one more meal. Or you could split that up into two meals to figure out. You can have one snack later on, maybe a protein bar if you're on the go. I'm not a big fan of protein bars. But in this case, busy moms go for it, and then all you gotta do is dinner. So you keep repeating these meals every single day. Just repeat the same meal every single day, same exact rotation, smoothie, yogurt parfait, egg white omelet, protein bar. You change it up by changing, maybe instead of mushrooms, you put in tomatoes in your omelet. And maybe instead of a banana, you put an avocado in your smoothie. And maybe in your parfait, instead of blueberries, you put mangoes. You change up the flavor, but the structure is the same, and you just keep hitting these points, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. You will feel different, I promise.

Heather Nelson: It sounds so easy. It is a meal plan that will be in the meal planning. And I love that. Thank you for all this. I was looking over all this. I'm like, God, I was just talking to a group of friends about this, and how we all just are struggling. And I think all these small little tidbits of information you gave us today is just so inspiring. helpful and motivating, and so I'm very honored and so happy that you were here today.

Terry Tateossian: Thank you, Heather. I had a great time. This is the first podcast I've ever talked about libido, and I think it's so important. And I always wonder, how come nobody ever asks me about that? Because it's such a big deal, and I feel like there's so much shame around it. We don't want to talk about it, but it's the elephant in the room. Of course, our libido is affected. Our hormones are all over the place. And sometimes, it actually goes in the other direction. So low, high, low, high. So hang in there.

Heather Nelson: Thank you. You were saying that everybody has experienced it, why not talk about it? Because not everyone likes to have those kinds of conversations, but we're all feeling it, and we all want to know. These are the reasons why you're fighting with your husband. I would imagine that these are important things that you need to conquer and be able to move forward through. So I love a tough conversation. It's always fun for me, so I'm glad we talked about it. Tell our listeners how they can find you, how they will put it in the show notes too. But how can they find everything you have going on?

Terry Tateossian: You can find me on Instagram. You can find me on our website, at thehouseofrose.com. Those are the two places.

Heather Nelson: How did you get the name The House Of Rose?

Terry Tateossian: So The House Of Rose is, basically, I wanted it to be almost like a tribute to the body. I call it a vehicle, your house, your terrain. This is your property right here, and the rose symbolizes the highest frequency in terms of vibration. And resonance is the highest vibrational flower out there, that's why it's chosen to represent and symbolize love and God. So the highest vibrational flower and the house of God, to me, is your body. Your body is your temple. So that's what it means. And then THOR is the acronym,T-H-O-R. And Thor stands for strength, fertility. Thor is known to be the protector of humanity, and it's masculine and feminine at the same time.

Heather Nelson: So good. I love that. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so glad we got connected. I'm definitely going to go to social media, stalk you and your podcast and all the things. So again, thanks for being a guest today.

Terry Tateossian: Thank you, Heather. It was my pleasure.

Heather Nelson: Awesome.