Life Conversations with a Twist
Join me once a week for a new interview with a local, badass woman who has an amazing story to tell. Join me in conversation so you too can gain inspiration and empowerment from these stories! If you love hearing about leadership, relationships, families, motherhood and navigating hard times, then tune into my podcast and share with others. If you love what you hear, share and tag me on Instagram at @heathernelson.life. You can also visit my website at heathernelson.life.
Life Conversations with a Twist
Finding the Gift in the Tough Stuff with Rhonda Farrah
“It’s the failures, it’s the adversity, it’s the sorrow, it’s that not so good effing stuff that is essential to have you be your highest and best self.” —Rhonda Farrah
Most of us spend years trying to outrun our past, hide our pain, or wait for life to finally go our way. But what if the real breakthrough comes from embracing the mess, not escaping it? If you’ve ever felt stuck, lost, or like you’re living on autopilot, you’re not alone—and you’re not powerless.
Rhonda Farrah is a transformation coach, author, and podcast host who’s turned her own life’s toughest moments—surviving federal prison, battling stage three breast cancer, and rebuilding after heartbreak—into a blueprint for growth. With a background in psychology and a gift for helping others find strength in struggle, Rhonda’s approach is all about real talk, radical self-love, and practical steps to move from surviving to thriving.
Tune in as Heather and Rhonda dive into the art of turning setbacks into comebacks, the surprising power of self-reflection, and why loving yourself is the ultimate game-changer. Press play and get ready to see your story in a whole new light!
Connect with Heather:
Episode Highlights:
01:31 Real Credentials from Life Experiences
06:11 Federal Indictment and Prison
16:38 Life After Prison and Breast Cancer
28:23 Chapter 2 of Midlife Connection Crisis
39:20 Transformation and Personal Growth
41:35 Fix Your Reflection First Coaching Program
44:28 Life is a Precious Gift
Connect with Rhonda:
Rhonda Farrah is a transformation coach, author, and podcast host with a background in educational psychology, counseling, and psychotherapy. Drawing on her extensive professional training and profound life experiences—including overcoming incarceration and breast cancer—Rhonda empowers others to embrace self-love, resilience, and personal growth.
As the founder of "Fix Your Reflection First and Live Your Best Life Ever," she offers group coaching programs and is passionate about helping others find the gift in every challenge and awakening hearts, minds, and spirits to their authentic power.
Heather Nelson: Hello everyone. Welcome to this week's Life Conversations With a Twist. I have the honor of having Rhonda on. Rhonda and I just officially connected and met in person. And wow, you have such a crazy and unique story. I cannot wait to dive in, so welcome to the podcast.
Rhonda Farrah: Thank you very much, Heather, it's a pleasure to be here. And yes, I'm very much attracted to that name, Living Life With a Twist. I certainly have had some twists and turns.
Heather Nelson: You absolutely have. When I was looking over the information you sent, I was like, wow. There's so much to talk about. I can't wait to start to tell the listeners a little bit about who you are, maybe where you live, and just a little back story.
Rhonda Farrah: Okay. First of all, I grew up on the East Coast in Connecticut, and in a family that was largely as a traditional family, traditional home, extended family, which many people know what that is. It was everybody, not just parents and children, grandparents, great aunts, an uncle from one time or another. But at one point, there were 13 people living under the same roof. Largely female influence, and so lots of love and discipline. I had a stay at home mom, and a dad who preferred mom stay at home. So very traditional. In that respect, I'm the oldest of three brothers and one sister. Early on, I developed this nurturing influence, probably because, not that men don't nurture, but all those females in the family and also being the oldest, whether I was looked at as the role model, and that was good most of the time. And I enjoyed that. I enjoyed that household tremendously. The background I have is in educational psychology, counseling, psychotherapy, but my real credentials are the credentials of life.
And through, some people will call them crises. They began midlife, about when I was 40 years old, and I just turned 67 so I've been around for a while and feeling great, and understanding more of myself and it's never too late to evolve into the best version of yourself. So that's largely how the new brand about 4 years ago was born, Fix Your Reflection First...And Live Your Best Life Ever!. And I'm an advocate of a lot of mirror work. I do more mirror work today with myself than with anyone else because I want to be the best version of myself so that I can show up, not only for myself, but for others, for my family, for my community, for my clients, for my audiences, for the world. Being that best version of myself and helping others understand that regardless of the good stuff, the successes, it's the failures, it's the adversity, it's the sorrow, it's that not so good effing stuff that really is essential to have you be your highest and best self or something better. And that's when I put the psychotherapeutic hat away.
And although I do have that toolbox at my disposal, I became an alchemist because I'm dedicated to awakening hearts, to awakening minds. And most especially, spirit, to our innate power from within. That's our authentic power. The power to thrive, rather than merely survive and live life in default mode one year after another. So all these years as a psychotherapist, I was thinking, wow, I'm pretty good. I look in the mirror and I catch my reflection in any pane of glass that I walk by and say, hey, you look good, everything's going right. And that was really not the case. I call it a humbling from midlife crises. Now, I call them midlife connections as well, and they began to teach me who I really was to peel away the onion skin. It was like a cellophane around me. And when you peel away the onion skin, you usually have tears.
I had lots of those, but I also had lots of laughter with the escapades I will describe to you here in a moment. I'm a believer in tears and laughter that mean you are growing. And it's important to grow regardless of where you're planted. As a matter of fact, I'm writing my memoirs, and the name of it is Growing Where I Am Planted: My Journey in Consciousness to my Own Transformation. There's my aha breath. That's a confirming breath. And I'll tell you how I got that breath as we go on here. So whenever I have that breath, it means what I'm going to say, I should be saying, God to me, universe or Spirit is saying to the Divine, don't hold back. Do it. I'll put it right out there for you. In 1998, I was indicted by the Federal Government, and I got this piece of paper that said, United States of America versus Rhonda Farrah. Kind of daunting. I'm a person that didn't have a speeding ticket, and now I'm being labeled as a public enemy number one, or at least in my mind.
Heather Nelson: How old were you at this time?
Rhonda Farrah: I was 40. Maybe 41. So it was this big commotion of one thing or another, and I was assured that this is ridiculous. My charges are non drug related, non violent, and it wasn't as clear cut as what everyone was saying to me because I don't believe in happenstance, coincidence or accident. I knew that divine, that God was trying to get my attention. For a long time, I had really taken a little hiatus from being a psychotherapist counselor, got into this business type of stuff where I did not do my due diligence and got involved with a group of people. This was my lesson. I called it forward. We call everything forward. People go up one side and down the other. You couldn't have called that for, ah, yes, I did. Maybe I didn't believe it at the time, but I did. I called other things forward. Again, still in disbelief. But thinking, no, this is a total mistake. Well, through trial, through everything that there was, and everything going wrong, I was sentenced to 72 months in a woman's federal prison camp in northern California because my daughter was in school there at that time. I was actually living there. So the disbelief was beginning to be, not only chaotic, but this is horrible. I couldn't even imagine this. How is this happening?
Heather Nelson: And you said you had a daughter? Did you just have one daughter? Or did you have more kids?
Rhonda Farrah: I had one. She was 14 at the time. Deep down, the subconscious mind is very powerful. As you probably know, 95% of what we do is the subconscious. We're not conscious of it. The subconscious mind knew what she was doing. She was calling this forward for a reason, to trust me. It wouldn't be my calling forward of choice, but it turned out to be. So I was in a prison camp with 300 women, two units, no bars. It was a camp. I did miss seven birthdays of everybody in my family, including mine, seven holidays. And I developed this, I guess, this other family where I was. It took about a year for me to stop hitting the phone against the wall saying, get me out of here, to whoever I was talking to. Whether it was a friend, a family member, an attorney. And one day, that's where the aha moment came. I hung up the phone. I was done with whoever I was talking to, and I said, oh, well, there it is again. Oh, well, that was my point of surrender.
Whatever others call it, that was like, I wasn't giving up. I was getting going with respect to being the best version of myself. I didn't know how. And many times today, I don't. I'd like to achieve something. I may not know the HOW, but I put it out there, and I concentrate. I observe and I listen very closely to what my intuitive self, my authentic self from within is saying, and then I act on those feelings and thoughts. So there really began my journey when I stopped hitting the phone against the wall and I said, okay, I began to write. I began to speak to my peers, my female fellow, female inmates. I taught wellness classes. I was pivoted right back into the arena of being of service to others, an emotional cognitive as well as a physical basis, because that's what I do. The emotional and the cognitive will experience and express will call forward either ill being or well being to us. So I did that. And again, there was not a day that I did not laugh or weep, and that meant that I was growing. And I was growing exactly where I was planted, somewhere I never thought I would be planted.
Heather Nelson: So the reason why you went to this woman's camp, it had to do with a business situation that you were in. Because out of the psychotherapy world, you thought you would do something else, and then got caught into something.
Rhonda Farrah: Again, no accidents. The truth of it all was stranger than fiction, but that's why it was happening. No one would have believed this bizarre, are you kidding? You were in the PTA, and now you're in a prison camp?
Heather Nelson: I have so many questions.
Rhonda Farrah: Ask away, because we have more. I had more adventures.
Heather Nelson: I have no doubt that you have more. I'm curious what your experiences are. What I love and appreciate about this story is you've taken this unfortunate situation and you were like, well, I'm here for 72 months. I might as well make the best of it and do what I can, thrive, learn and grow. It's crazy to think that that is what forced you to make this change. What was it like to be with all the other women in the camp? Obviously, you're probably like the light and shining, like, it's going to be okay, and there's a lesson behind all of this. But to your peers around you, how do they perceive you? What kind of experiences did you learn from their stories?
Rhonda Farrah: That they were more similar than different in all ways. We still had our health to maintain. We still had our children to think about. Very difficult to parent with five hours a month, telephone time. It is very difficult. So we're more concerned about where we are going to work? How are we going to earn a living? Where are we going to live? How are we going to pay the rent? We're not alone, is what I experienced. Many around me thought that I was so privileged. I mean, it was like, oh, where did you live? Oh, Northern California. Yeah, no drugs, no violence, none of that. And after a while, they got to know Rhonda. Rhonda was getting to know Rhonda. We're more similar than anything. We all had our ups and downs, especially with 150 women on each side of units. Well, it was a dormitory. The first time in Northern California, and then they moved me to Southern California, to the desert, which felt more like a prison. But my point of that is ups and downs, because we still had the same old thing. How do 150 women use three washing machines, three dryers, and get all their laundry done?
Heather Nelson: Most of these women, obviously, you weren't there forever. You knew there was an end point to that. What were the percentage of women that were going to be getting out, or ones that were their life forever?
Rhonda Farrah: Well, we weren't hardened criminals so there was nobody sentenced to life there. We're all short sentences. Some were longer than others. Those that surrounded me had no violence charges. But many people with drug charges, whether they use drugs and get caught, or they were transporting drugs, or a combination of both. But I watched many women leave before me. I watched them leave, and I was waiting for my day. But at the same time, I was almost not concerned. I knew my dad would always say, you can't stop the clock.
Heather Nelson: What was the day like when you left? Go back into the world and live out what you just learned in the last 72 months, what was that feeling like?
Rhonda Farrah: I was released in July of 2005. But I remember it vividly. My release for some, again, bizarre reasons was delayed. I was supposed to be released in April. And there's two things I remember. First of all, when I was supposed to be released in April, it was like bad weather, the sky, the spirit, it was not dark. I was heading out at 5:15 to the track.I was always blessed. I'm an avid runner, and I have a track there. I had strength training weights, which I helped other women with. And this woman said to me, you can't go out there. Look at the clouds. It's going to start lightning or something like that. And I remember looking at her, and I said to her, I won't use her name. I said to her, you know what, God is in the clouds. I walked out that door, went to the track, and I think it was my 4th lap around. I looked up, I was raised Roman Catholic, and I saw in the clouds the picture of what would be the equivalent of the Sacred Heart picture. And it was like, okay. I always ask for shots in the arm, give me a sign that everything's going to be okay. I should be getting out today. Why am I not getting out? So I went along until July of 2005, and the day came. I remember leaving things behind that I wasn't going to take for the other women, sweatshirts, things like that. This is your stuff. You want some toothpaste? Do you want this? We cared for ourselves, as well as each other. I had to go to a halfway house, which is what they're called in Northern California.
And I realized two things. For 11 months, I'd had a lump on my right breast that I did nothing about because of the medical there, and I will not get into that with instances. That's not my soapbox. And the other thing was, I remember arriving at the halfway house, and it was all men. Other than a man that was transitioning into a woman, I get along with most people. And if people don't get along with me, they don't get along with their shadow. So in the infinite wisdom of the correctional department, I'm the only woman there. They couldn't put me in with a man, so they emptied the top floor of the halfway house, and they put me up there, and put everybody else downstairs. All the men. And I said, this is really getting more and more bizarre federal tax dollars at work. I know I got that lump on my breast, though, and so I was scared. I was more scared of that than being in prison, because I was distracted from going back into society because of that lump on my breast. Don't forget, I had been institutionalized, and the rehabilitation I did was on myself with the help of listening and being put in situations where I could help others, because I do believe we're here to be of service to others.
Heather Nelson: I agree.
Rhonda Farrah: I felt like I was still so confused. Well, what is this? What's going to happen? What am I going to do now? The event of prison and then moving into the breast cancer scenario, prison helped me with that. This is another not so good thing happening. That's when I became an alchemist. Alchemy is the precursor to chemistry, and I am not a left brain person by any means. I am always for environmental science, so I don't fly that way. But it's the precursor to chemistry. And what it means is that taking substances, in my case, in life situations, circumstances and events, the good and the not so good, and making them work for you rather than anything less. And the way you do that, the only way is to find the blessing and the gift in the most horrific and horrible situations. It's the only way. And it's not the same for everyone. There's no cookie cutter approach. The only thing that's cookie cutter is that it's an inside job. So you must do the work. Your feeling turns into a thought, turns into your external world. And I believe there are only two feelings, love and fear. If you're operating from fear, fearful thoughts, you're going to have less than what you desired. Not the life you dream about, probably hardly. If you operate from love, and that's to find the gift and the blessing regardless of situation, circumstance or event, your thoughts will be much different. And your external life and experiences will be much different. I'm here to tell everyone that this could have been a sad story for me if I had gone into victim mode. Whether it was prison, or whether it's breast cancer with my daughter saying, when are we going to get a break? And me saying, listen, I'm going to dance at your wedding, and I'm going to see my grandchildren. And both have happened now.
Where did that come from? That was a God thing. I said that, but I just knew that. Aha breath, okay, confirming breath. I get a lot of those when I reach down deep in. And I learned also that through those particular two incidences that my strength is my vulnerability. You can hold me up to the light and you're going to see what you get. You can like me or not. I used to be very concerned. I used to be a people pleaser, like crazy, a doormat in some instances which resulted in several bad marriages that ended. Once I said, it didn't matter that much to me anymore. Now, it doesn't matter at all what people think of me. I don't care what people think of me. I care, but I don't care. I care what I think of me. Because if I look in that mirror and don't like the ME looking back, I have a bigger challenge than I've ever faced in the last 20 years or more. One must love and like themselves, appreciate, esteem, respect themselves, because that's who they will attract back to them. Not only in a partnership, in romantic love, and love with everyone around you, but in every arena of your life. Every single arena. It begins right here. It's an inside job.
Heather Nelson: When you describe this, this is exactly how I see myself. I put positive ju-ju in the world. I do the thing, I do the work, and so many great things come to me. And people are always like, you think whatever you think you accomplish. And it's this exact mindset of like, I allow that. But then I think of people in my life who don't, and they're always either jealous of me, and this family is jealous of me, playing the pity party. And I'm like, that's because you don't allow that. You get stuck in this victim mode, and you're going to get stuck there. But if you were to release that, put the energy out and continue to bring those good things into your life, those things come, but you gotta allow it.
Rhonda Farrah: I'll give you a tip. I'll give our viewers and listeners a tip, our audience. I won't even call it a secret, but it's a big, hot tip. And I won't even charge for it. Okay, operate. You can operate in two ways. You can operate out of faith or out of fear. I am faith based. I'm very spiritual. I was raised Roman Catholic, I was re-baptized a Christian in prison, and now I honor all paths to God because God is all there is. No matter what color you are, no matter what religious preference you are, God is all there is. So if one is operating from faith, faith says, even if shit happens, I'm going to be alright. Veer says, what if, oh, my, what if, poor me. Oh, no, I better go back to bed. I better get under the covers. I better close the door and lock it with the three dead bolts and everything else. That's paralyzing. That is paralyzing, and that is not living our authentic self. We are created in the image and likeness of whatever you call it God. It's pretty powerful. It's the God of my understanding. Is God right here? Not in the sky. Even though I did see God in the sky, I saw the Sacred Heart in that cloud that morning. It's not the lightning bolt that, if I was ever waiting, and I'm sure subconsciously I was waiting for it to hit me in my ass. It is not going to happen. We have that power, use it. Use it to live the life you desire, the life you want, perhaps even the life you dream about. You can do it, if I can do it.
Heather Nelson: You can make that going to prison is a positive experience, anything's possible.
Rhonda Farrah: It was much more difficult for my family than it was for me.
Heather Nelson: I'm sure. I was going to ask you what your relationship was like with your daughter, and with your daughter now.
Rhonda Farrah: My daughter was very indulged. It was a good relationship. I will be quite candid with you. She's still mad at me. It's strained, and it won't be like that forever. But it's part of my growing up. It's part of her growing. I honored that. I may not like it, but I honor that. And I move forward with it. I have two beautiful grandchildren who I do communicate with. So moving back home now, I'll be communicating a lot more.
Heather Nelson: You're going to be closer to them when you move.
Rhonda Farrah: Yes, all my family is in Connecticut. I'm going back home.
Heather Nelson: I love that. Well, I wish I'm putting good, positive work and energy into that relationship. So you get out of jail. You have this lump on your breast. You go to this halfway house with all of these men. I wanted to mention, I live in Northern California, so I'm curious where you were.
Rhonda Farrah: I was in Dublin to begin with, and I went to Salinas to the halfway house. It's a little south, and I lived on the Monterey Peninsula when I was in my house.
Heather Nelson: So you get to this house, halfway house. Tell us what happened after that.
Rhonda Farrah: Well, I'm going to say two things. First of all, I was so happy that I didn't get out in April. Because you see, I knew the system over there. I was taking care of myself that way. Yes, I wanted to get home so I could see my doctors. But when I got well, quite frankly, when they found out I had a lump on my breast, they couldn't wait to get rid of me. So I was there less than a month at the house. And it's that whole thing about change again. Oh, my God, I'm making another change. I gotta go halfway house. It's like starting fresh. You can't do this, you can't do that. You better do this, you better do that. And I thought, this is ridiculous. I should have just opted to maybe stay. I want to get home and see a doctor, a real doctor. So I get home and have a mammogram. And my oncologist from the past, he said, you need to have a biopsy right now. I had nearly stage three breast cancer. But I was in prayer. I was in affirmation. Drinking homemade eucalyptus tea, because maybe that would help. And I was imagining some days, oh, this thing's going away. Now, it wasn't going away, okay? Because we're going to enter chapter two of midlife connection, crisis, adventure, and countless people were asking me that question, what was the result of the biopsy? And I answered that question countless times, and I still remember the way I answered. Not the best news, but not the worst. Not the best news, but not the worst in none other than breast cancer awareness month, October of 2005, so here's your timeline. I get out in July, on October 10. I have breast cancer.
And so again, in disbelief, how can this be? And on the Monterey Peninsula, they called him the best breast guy around, and he was. He said some words that were music to my ears. I'm a person that's never taken any street drugs. He said, Rhonda, this can be treated chemically. I said, really? What's that? Another C word, chemotherapy. I said, I don't know squeamish about anything like that. I was putting it off, and putting it off. And a friend of mine came home. She worked at Trader Joe's. She handed me someone's card. He was a medical Qigong practitioner, Eastern myths. I immediately went to see him. I saw him for three months, several sessions, prayer, chanting, and little variation in the diet. That was not much. I mean, I ate what I needed to eat anyway. And he said, go back to your oncologist because Western medicine has the best diagnostic tools. I said, okay. My daughter was with me. She said to me, I don't know what you're doing. But you're shrinking your tumor. My daughter's head spun around on her neck, and she looked at my oncologist, and she said, you're buying this shit too? Okay, I got another fear going on here. I don't want this chemo. I don't want to get surgery. I don't like hospitals and other things. Oh, well, okay, I can't forget about radiation. I don't want to do this. But at that point I said, you better buck up, put on your big girl panties just like you did in prison camp, and do it.
So two or three days later, I started five months of chemo. And again, the gift and the blessing. First of all, I joined and facilitated Breast Cancer Awareness groups in the hospital. I didn't like going to the hospital, but I was going early. Because if you want to heal, start helping others heal. That was a gift. That was a blessing. Another gift blessing, I just told you that I was an avid runner. I've been a runner now for 50 years. I don't run as fast. I kind of jog now, and I had a window of time. Chemo was at 11:00 in the morning on Thursdays. I had until Friday afternoon if I really wanted to go all out and maybe jog a little, but I was walking anyway through all this chemo escapade. Other than for a day and a half where I slept, if I wanted to vacuum, this is my window. I got my window of time. Those are gifts and blessings. I finally got sick of seeing my hair on the pillowcase. Was my hair falling out? I went and had my head shaved, and I thought, okay, gift and a blessing. Someone looked at me and said, you look like a prophet. That made me feel good. Those are gifts and blessings. If I didn't go that place, I gotta shave my head, I can't stand this whole thing. And da, da, da, and feeling sick. And otherwise, although that was a gift and a blessing too. Wasn't sick like you hear people when they're on chemo. I had one or two bouts of sick because my mindset, even subconsciously, was that I'm going to be okay. Finished with the chemo.
The day came. No hospital. Surgical center got the best breast guy. Okay, my daughter takes me, she's nervous. I'm nervous. I'm laying on a gurney in Monterey, California, about to go into the OR, and it's beautiful day, looking out the window, and I'm having a talk with God. I need that shot in the arm. I need a little more. Ask, and you will receive. Knock, and the door will be open. And the woman who would be my Or nurse, she came over and said, Rhonda, do you need something? Can I help you with something? I go, oh, I just have a little talk with God. And she goes, okay, that's good. And she looked at me and she said, oh, look, your hair is coming back. It's like peach fuzz. And I said, yeah. And then all of a sudden, wait for it. Here's the sign. She pulls back her skull cap, and she says, maybe your hair will grow back curly like mine did. She had gone through exactly what I went through. Now, she was back positioned to help others going through the same thing. She arrived just in time. I said, thank you very much. And thank you God. And they wheel me in, and they're saying, you're here for a mastectomy? I go, oh, no, I'm not. This is a mistake. No, you better. And by the way, get the right breast. The right breast is the current breast. I can talk about it the way I'm talking about it now, but I was terrified, so I'm going out. And I said, you're just cleaning out the margins. And he said, yes. And then I was out.
I woke up in recovery, my doctor, the best, best guy in the United States, he had this worried look on his face. Two things happen. He came in. I knew he had a worried look. I had a male nurse, and he kept saying to me, Rhonda, Rhonda, tell me what day it is. Tell me why you're here. And I did. And then I said, can I have a glass of wine? And my daughter said, she's going to be alright. She's going to be alright. So that horrific look on my doctor's face is because he thought it had spread to my limp on this side, because the dye came back and they did a pathology report three times. He couldn't even believe it. No, you're clear. You're clear. But they took 11 lymph. I still have limited movement on my right arm, but it doesn't keep me from doing anything. But my point is, they took 11 lymph nodes. That's how serious he thought it was. Wow, another gift and blessing all the time. They kept doing pathology reports. They all can't be wrong. I went home that night and entered radiation about a week later, and I went to radiation, 37 blasts, the strangest suntan I've ever had on my right breast. I have a little war scar, but I still have my breast. And I like this one. Remember stage three breast cancer? That's the power, that's our authentic power from within. I later learned two things. I later learned that over 30% of women with breast cancer, even less than mine, do not make it. They expire. Make their transition. They die. It's a breast, for God's sake. It's not the heart, it's the mindset.
The transition to Alchemist from psychotherapist also came. I started doing research when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The highest incidence of breast cancer in women, because men get breast cancer too. The highest incidence of breast cancer in women is because women do not nourish and nurture themselves. Remember that little thing, self love when you look in the mirror, that was me. I'm nourishing and nurturing everyone else, but I'm not paying attention. Yeah, I look good, I feel good and everything. Yeah, I'm athletic, I'm eating right, no drugs. I wasn't nourishing and nurturing myself the way I needed to. It was a wake up call. I made the transition. I said, this is it. Emotions and cognitive. I was in that field, the emotions and the thinking cognition contribute to ill being or well being. I'm the poster child. Understanding this, especially as a woman, it's important. Yes, we have children, we have families, we have clients, we have places to be, things to do, but start nourishing and nurturing yourself. Attend to the agenda of your soul. Selfishness is the least selfless. It is the most selfless thing you can do. You can be selfish with yourself. I'm not talking about stepping on people, but take care of yourself. Some are familiar with the ever ready bunny commercial. That bunny, when he's not charged, passes out, that's it falls right to the table, right to the floor. It was, again, an important transition. But these things, again, were put in my life. I could have said, oh, screw it. I'm over with that. I'm not going to do this. Gonna go get a different kind of job. That's the message. My messes have become messages for me.
Heather Nelson: Wow. What a story.
Rhonda Farrah: For me and for others. So prison was hard. It was devastating. Breast? Oh, that was harder. That was harder. That was life or death. Next, enter two divorces, one right after another. Both from women. I'm in the prison camp with women. That's a signal of femininity, the mammary glands. Now, I am discarded. I'm betrayed. Okay, short marriages, one right after another. Again, both women. That was the hardest thing, harder than incarceration, harder than breast cancer. But you know what? Again, Alchemy. I learned a lot from those two marriages. I learned a tremendous amount.
I thank them both, and I pray that they learned as much about themselves as I learned about myself because I took the gift and the blessing of what I learned from that. And then I knew that this is a pattern. I'm not loving myself. I'm insecure as I think I am. I'm insecure. It's a mirror of myself, again, I'm attracting all that. That's when I said, no, this is it. That's also when the brand change the brand. If it wasn't going to change, it changed that self love, self care. Be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself, self respect, self esteem and appreciate yourself because that's how you will attract the right person to you, and the right situations, and circumstances, and events into your life, and every area of your life. So nearly four years ago, I'm in Colorado Springs. Right now, I'm here for a work project. It's ending. It's ended. Actually, that's why I'm moving around the corner, and that's why I'm looking at places in Connecticut to move to. But it's interesting because two years in Colorado Springs, all my friends from California were saying, geez, you've been there two years now. Have you met anyone? And I smile and said, yeah, I have died to know I have met someone. She's articulate, she's intelligent, got a great sense of humor, compassionate, caring, loves to cook, loves to garden, takes care of herself. Her name is Rhonda Farrah.
Heather Nelson: It's beautiful.
Rhonda Farrah: I'm not saying I'm not open to love, but you know what? I kind of like this gig with myself.
Heather Nelson: You have so much power and ability to literally impact people's lives because of your story. I feel like that is the love you're pouring into the world. And we need this. We all need this right now, especially as women. We need these stories. We need these inspirations. We need these ways of thinking. I think it's so important, and there's not enough of us doing the work.
Rhonda Farrah: That needs to be done. And you know what I do back by popular demand, my group coaching program, Fix Your Reflection First...And Live Your Best Life Ever!, it's not for the faint of heart because you got to do the work. And I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I believe that every day is a new day. And this program is a three month program, so we don't go for 12 months. We go every 12 weeks, three months. What do you want to accomplish in 12 weeks?We can get through the year being the best that we can at each stage, at each level of that and not for the faint of heart, you must do the work. I've had clients say to me, I've seen you for a month. Okay, you've seen me for four hours. I'm good, but I'm not that good. How long did it take for you to have this relationship with your daughter? Oh, my God, it took years for me to get this lousy relationship with my daughter. And I said, oh. And I said to this woman, well, I'm good, but I'm not good. And you must do the work. What are you depending on me for? I have a wand, I do. I have a Harry Potter wand, but I don't use it. I'm not going to. If I use it, I wave it all myself. I tried, but it doesn't work. I must do my work. You must do your work, and you'll be better for it.
Heather Nelson: And I also think that you have to be willing and ready to do the work. So many people want to do it, but they're not. They want to do it, but they are not ready to invest in it. And when you're not invested in it, no progress is going to be made.
Rhonda Farrah: That's true. And I wasn't always ready to tell my story. I was very timid. Oh, my God, the prison, that's a sizzle. When I was first interviewed on a radio show, it was like, yeah, I did it. And the questions were pointed, but I did it. And I felt a whole lot better. It helped. I felt empowered. And more onion skin began to be peeled away. And some people will respect me for being that vulnerable, and some people won't. So what? I can't help everybody, but I can help those who wish to help themselves.
Heather Nelson: Absolutely. So now, you're doing this coaching work. You also mentioned to me that you have a podcast. Tell everybody what you're doing? How can they find you? How can they follow you? How can they be a part of your world? Because you're absolutely inspiring and empowering. And I'm so glad we got connected.
Rhonda Farrah: I am too. The name of my podcast, I have a YouTube channel, Fix Your Reflection First...And Live Your Best Life Ever! If you look me up on YouTube, you'll find it if you type my name in, Rhonda Farah. Help Me Rhonda Now International is my company, and I'm in the transformation business for those that wish to be transformed. And let me tell you what, I am not minimizing anyone's story, not at all. Trauma. Listen, I have just told you about my trauma. It's not that I don't have trauma. It's not that I'm still healing. I am. Every day I say, oh, I healed a little more today because I cried, or I laughed. You see, I interject humor in what I do. That's a healing mechanism for me. Laughter is the best medicine, truly is. So I welcome people that wish to write to me, or your comments about this podcast or not. rhonda@helpmerhondanow.com, if you have questions, I'll write back to you.
Heather Nelson: These are the kind of people that I love in my circle. I don't like victim people. It's like, own your life, own your story, own the circumstances that come to you, face the fear. That's how you grow. I'm always so inspired by stories like this, so thank you so much for being here. I'm so glad that you got to pour this beautiful wisdom into our listeners today.
Rhonda Farrah: May I leave our listeners with just a couple things? First of all, as I mentioned earlier, understand that whatever you are going through, struggle, challenge, adversity, sorrow, you are not alone. Reach out. Reach out to the divine and Spirit, God, universe, whatever you call it. Reach out to a trusted friend. Reach out to a professional, whether it's me or someone else. Reach out, you are not alone. Been there, done that? Reach out whatever it is that you're going through. We're all traveling down this tunnel on the journey of life that we've so graciously been placed on. Understand that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train. That light is the guidance. It's the way, it's the truth, it's the ability, the blueprint to move forward, if you choose, and be the best version of yourself. And as always, I invite all my audiences on my show and as a guest now on this show, I invite our audience to treat life as if it were ice cream, and enjoy it before it melts.
Heather Nelson: So good. Thank you so much, Rhonda.
Rhonda Farrah: You're very welcome.
Heather Nelson: Beautiful, beautiful. This is why I love doing podcasts on Friday, because I feel like after a long week and then you go into the weekend, and it's always just so inspiring and uplifting. So thank you for inspiring me. I know that other listeners are really going to enjoy the stories, so thank you.
Rhonda Farrah: You're very welcome. You're very welcome.