Mirror Talk: Making Peace with Your Reflection with Audra Bryant

"You deserve to be loved and to love yourself— flaws and all. And you can move powerfully from that." —Audra Bryant

Perfection is a myth—real beauty begins the moment you dare to show your scars.

We spend so much energy hiding our scars—physical or emotional—believing they make us less worthy. But what if embracing those imperfections is the key to real confidence, deeper relationships, and a life that feels truly free? If you’ve ever felt trapped by self-doubt or the pressure to be perfect, this episode is your permission slip to let go and start living boldly.

Audra Bryant is a burn survivor who spent years unable to look at her own reflection, only finding the courage to face herself in the mirror at age 25. Now a certified life coach and author, she draws on her extraordinary journey to help others embrace their scars, rewrite their stories, and step boldly into self-acceptance.

Join Heather and Audra as they explore the journey from self-criticism to self-acceptance, share practical ways to rediscover joy as an adult, and reveal why your story—scars and all—deserves to be seen and celebrated.

Connect with Heather: 

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Episode Highlights:
01:19 Audra’s Journey— Creating Enjoyable Experiences 
05:45 The Impact of Embracing Scars 
11:05 Own Your Scars
14:12 Pivotal Moment of Self-Acceptance 
21:27 Bring More Ease Into Your Life 
26:04 “I’ve Got Scars, Baby”

Resources

📖Book

I've Got Scars, Baby!: How To Embrace Your Scars and Power Your Purpose by Audra Bryant 

Connect with Audra: 

Audra is a certified life coach, author, and speaker based in California, dedicated to empowering individuals to embrace their unique stories and find strength in their scars. Drawing from her personal journey as a burn survivor, Audra specializes in wellness, personal empowerment, and healing, offering coaching, workshops, and community events that blend creativity and fun with deep personal growth. 

Audra is the author of "I've Got Scars, Baby: How to Embrace Your Scars, Empower Your Purpose," and has delivered an inspiring TED Talk on self-acceptance. Audra is passionate about supporting high achievers and those who are often the backbone for others, helping them cultivate self-love, resilience, and authentic connections.

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Transcript

Heather Nelson: Hello everyone. Welcome to this week's Life Conversations With a Twist, I have the honor of having Audra on my podcast today. Just like many of my guests, we just met. I'm really excited and inspired by your story, and so I cannot wait to hear more. 

Welcome to the podcast.

Audra Bryant: Thank you so much. I'm very happy to be here. 

Heather Nelson: Miss Audra is also in California, and so we were just connecting on all the fun things that are going around in California right now. And so we definitely can relate to each other's story. And yeah, all the craziness that's happening. I know you're in LA, but tell us a little bit more about who you are? What does your day to day stuff look like for you?

Audra Bryant: I'm originally from Detroit. But as far as day to day, I am a Certified Life Coach and an Author. And day to day, I can be speaking with clients, hopefully getting as much sun as possible, and doing the best that I can to create experiences for those who attend the live events that we have for my coaching business, because I truly believe that it's really important to kind of mix a little bit of, what did they say? It's kind of like mixing a little bit of the sugar with the medicine. It makes it go down a little bit easier. I like to curate experiences for those who attend my events. So that's what's happening. I'm planning those things.

Heather Nelson: What do your events look like? I'm in the event industry, but I also do women's retreats. So definitely my world, and I would love to hear more about your events.

Audra Bryant: A part of what I do is, my background has been in performing arts, so the conversations that I have are surrounding wellness, personal empowerment and healing. I share my story, and I help people to understand their stories, and so I like to do that in different ways, and to get them to a space where they're not necessarily feeling shame when it comes to expressing themselves and what they've experienced. What I've learned in my experience is that everybody has scars. Some on the outside, some on the inside. And so that can be done through music, that can be done through comedy, that can be done through crafting, lots of different ways that you can do that and explore without it just being, let's have a deep conversation, and that's it. So that's what I like to help people with, is just mixing in a little, integrating them into this process in a different way.

Heather Nelson: I love it. I love everything that you're doing. It's definitely the world that I am inspired to be in, so I'm excited for this conversation. So tell everyone, what is your story? What is your journey? What is your twist in your life?

Audra Bryant: I was burned at 18 months old, and that's why I wore this specifically so you can see it all. So I was burned at 18 months old, and I didn't look at myself in the mirror until I was 25 because I didn't want to see my scars. So essentially, I spent my whole formative years into young adulthood hiding. So wearing t-shirts, turtlenecks. Going swimming as long as I have my t-shirt, I'm fine. And so I spent my life hiding. And at 25, I really had a revelation. Because I always felt like I wanted to help people, I wanted to encourage people, I just felt like I wanted to do that. But I couldn't do that. I say that, because in that moment, I remember specifically at 25, I felt like I'd say, Audra, everybody has scars. Some on the outside, some on the inside. And that was an epiphany for me. It was just like, what? Because I just felt so alone. I grew up feeling alone. And when you feel alone, you feel isolated. You're like, woe is me. Nothing's ever going to get better. And so when I then started to say, yeah, let me go help and encourage other people, God was like, okay, Audra. How are you going to do that? You won't even look at yourself in the mirror. And I couldn't argue with that. So that started my process of looking in the mirror for the first time. It was a six month process getting used to seeing the part of myself that I didn't want to see the part of myself that made me feel ugly, unloving, not lovable and all of that. I had to get used to it. I had to embrace it, those types of things. And as I had to show the world, I had to let other people see me as well. And so over time, it got easier. And what I will say, and I'll leave it here is that the more I started to embrace my own scars, the less questions I would hear from other people about them. And even to this day, it's a strange change. People are like, what is that? Is that a leaf? They think I did it intentionally, and so I find that so interesting. The thing that you hated the most about yourself, other people could even find beautiful somehow. 

Heather Nelson: Such a great story. Well, how did you get burned at 18 months?

Audra Bryant: I was a toddler, and my father was drinking some coffee. We had some relatives over to the house, and I went up to the table and pulled a cup of coffee onto myself. I will tell you that he never really forgave himself because it happened under his watch. I never blame my dad. I'm very much a daddy's girl. I am a daddy's girl. It's one of those things where I was just like, oh, I didn't know that he still felt that way. My dad passed away 10 years ago, so not until I did some research from other family members did I realize just how much that impacted him. He was still dealing with that even when I was a teenager. 

Heather Nelson: Are you a parent?

Audra Bryant: No, I'm not. 

Heather Nelson: I understand the guilt. There's so many things that can happen, and there's definitely a lot of guilt when that stuff kind of happens. And then probably, I would imagine for him seeing you go through the hard times of that would be really, really hard. I got choked up because I could probably understand where he's coming from. 

Audra Bryant: Yeah. It's one of those things where I like to say, Dad, thank you so much, in a sense, because little did I know that this was the platform that I would be standing on. It's almost like, I wish you could see what's being done even with this experience. Not that would have made him feel better, but good stuff is coming from it.

Heather Nelson: Absolutely. So you grew up, basically, like hiding yourself. You didn't go swimming with the rest of the kids, or you didn't get to wear cute dresses. Is that how it was for you most of your life?

Audra Bryant: Yeah. It was t-shirts and turtlenecks. Literally, I remember that there's a photo that I have when I was maybe 9 or 10, maybe younger. Everybody else had a tank top outside. It was summertime, and I had this long sleeve. Just black, totally covered. That's just how I live my life. Even though I wanted to have the cute clothes, I was like, I'm going to have the cute clothes. I wanted to be cute and feminine and all. Go shopping. But it's like, I made myself not really be into that. I'm gonna find something that's cute with cap sleeves to cover my shoulder that's up to here, is it really going to be that cute? I don't know. So there was a lot of that going on. I would go swimming. But again, I just wouldn't go swimming without a t-shirt so I could totally cover myself. So it was just a lifestyle of hiding and avoiding mirrors, and that's just what it was. I literally did not see any way of being outside of that. 

Heather Nelson: I just couldn't imagine growing up that way with so much fear. Do you think that now, if you were to be Audra now in the day in life here now, do you think that you'd be more accepted? And I say this because I think that now with social media, and the transgender, and everybody kind of finding who they truly are. And people being more accepting of people's scars or who they are, do you think that it would be a different perspective now than back then?

Audra Bryant: Honestly, I would love to say that I think it would be different. But it wasn't about anyone else. It was me because I got questions. I was in ballet class and had them see my scars and say, what's that? What's going on? But again, the self acceptance wasn't there. The more I accepted myself, the more other people accepted me. So it really had nothing to do with other people at all. I wish that maybe that would have made it easier somehow like, okay, if everybody else is accepting. But no, everything had to do with how I felt about myself. And the more I started to be okay with it, the less questions I heard, like, when I say I will wear something where it is all out, I wear a halter to something like a tube top. I didn't get the questions before I could wear a t-shirt, and just this little portion is sticking out. What's that? What happened to you? 

Heather Nelson: What advice do you have to that girl that's in high school or in their teenage years that battles maybe a scar, or discoloration of the skin, or some kind of physical thing about their body? What advice do you have going through what you went through now? What would you give her?

Audra Bryant: You gotta own it. Waiting on the world to change, you will be waiting for the rest of your life. The more you love and give yourself grace, give yourself love, appreciate who you are, of course, it's easier to love you when other people are loving you. But that can be a trap too. Because now, you only feel loved when they're affirming you. But what if you were just like, this looks different on me. This is the size that I am. Whatever is going on, as long as you're healthy and you're well, hey, I love who I am, and give love to other people. That's another thing, too. I'm not talking about the other side and being completely arrogant and being a mean person. That's not what I'm saying either. I'm saying genuinely to love yourself and appreciate who you are. Who's God created you to be? What talents are you using? How kind are you toward other people? Be kind. Because when people see good hearted people, they are going to stand up for you. Let me tell you, there's power in being the one that loves herself, but also loves other people. And she's just so cool. She doesn't have to be perfect. People actually are like, oh, my gosh, I love that you did that thing that is different. Or I love that you're not perfect. I love that you have that scar. I love that you have this. I love that you own that. They're gonna admire you. How many people are fighting to love themselves? You are not alone. I thought I was consumed with my scar. I am not enough. I can't show it. But do you know what people are going through behind closed doors? If not the same stuff that you're experiencing, it could be worse. And you may not be able to see it. They may not have the physical scars, but it could be something ripping them apart inside. And YOU loving yourself gives them permission to love themselves, they will love you for that.

Heather Nelson: So good. I love that you say that we all have scars, either internal or external, because it is so true. We all have experienced things. We've all experienced trauma or different perspectives of the world. And to honor that, I think that was what really hit home with your speech for me. Was there a conversation? What was that pivotal moment for you where you're like, this isn't who I want to be anymore. This is not how I want to love my body. 

Audra Bryant: It was that moment at 25, and it was an epiphany. I feel like it was the Holy Spirit to just say, hey, Audra, everybody has scars. Some on the outside, some on the inside. That changed the game for me. But it wasn't just, okay, here's the revelation. It was okay now, here's the work to do as well because you have to start looking at yourself in the mirror. How can you go out there and encourage other people to love themselves when you don't even look at yourself? So there was the revelation, and then there was the work. I had to get good with myself first. I wasn't going out and saying, hey, do this. I had to figure it out first. And I'm so very grateful. Here's what I will say. What I found so very interesting is that so many people did not like it. I went to an event, it was actually a pool party and I'm supposed to wear this swimsuit and all the other things. And I say, you know what? I'm going to not take a t-shirt with me. That was what I said to myself. I don't want to wear a t- shirt. What wound up happening is I went. I thought everybody was going to ask me all the questions. I was out there for everyone to see, look at my scars. In my head, I was terrified. The people are on the basketball court and I'm standing, they're going to see my scars. They're going to think I look weird and ask me questions. No one said anything. I went to where they were eating. They're going to see my scars. They're going to ask me questions. Nobody said anything. Went to the pool. They're gonna see it. Nobody said anything. Years later, the person who was at the barbecue wrote the foreword for my book. She said, I had no idea that you were struggling. You look confident to me. I feel like people don't know that we are in our head about the thing. It's not always what people see or how people perceive us. It's really our perception of ourselves. They get us in trouble. They thought I was confident. I was not feeling confident at all. That's a part of it. It's not always as harsh as you think it is.

Heather Nelson: Before this moment of transition for you, were you already doing life coach work? Or was it after that this became part of your world more? 

Audra Bryant: It was after. I never connected with a burn survivor organization. I'd never been around other burn survivors. One thing growing up, I dealt with it on my own. I'm not saying that I didn't have the support from my parents. They did the best they could, but I don't think they fully understood that I should be around other burn survivors as much. Just trying to encourage me to feel good about myself, and it's okay. It's not a big deal. Or in the most loving way possible, to say it's okay. I don't want you to feel insecure. So it wasn't until I got to a space where I was able to share my story with other people, then I started getting involved and started coaching. I didn't know I had a story to share. I didn't know I had that, that I always wanted to encourage people. Even in grade school, like 4th grade, I'd have friends that felt comfortable sharing their experiences with me. I've always kind of been that person, but not until I got to a space where I was able to share a part of me, the vulnerable aspects of my story that it even seems like it's something that I should do.

Heather Nelson: Interesting. What is a typical person that you coach? Do you life coach for anybody? Who are your people?

Audra Bryant: Yes. As much as I would love to say, sure, anybody come on over here. I have the heart to say that, typically, the people that I work with, they are the ones who carry the burden of their family. They're the one that everybody turns to. But who do they lean on? They're the ones that everybody gets the advice from. But when they're going through it, it's like, well, hope it works out for you. It's not even that the person's trying to be mean. They got used to figuring things out on their own. And sometimes, they may not ever even reach out to anyone to get help. Because in the past, maybe people didn't help so they had to figure it out. So those are typically the people that I work with. They could be CEOs, business owners, moms, and just high achievers.

Heather Nelson: Yep, I know what you mean by that. 

Audra Bryant: I'm like, come on over here. You have needs. Let's talk about those.

Heather Nelson: Oh, my gosh. We have bad days too. Everyone expects that your life's so great and inspiring. And I'm like, oh, well, there's some days where I don't want to leave my bed too, and you take the burden, and you hold so much space. Especially with my women's retreats, we hold space for these women to tell their stories, and then we're holding it for them. And then you go home, and you feel like you just got run over by a train because you're just so consumed, and you want to take on that. Sometimes, we forget that we need to take care of ourselves too.

Audra Bryant: My desire is to remind you that you're human, and there can be a God complex a bit because you really have a heart. These are the people that have a good heart, they really want to help. We're going to talk about how to do that in a way that is sustainable, that feels good for you, that is not making you everything for everybody. So that's what we talk about.

Heather Nelson: I love that. So with your life coaching, I know you did a TED talk, but do you do more? Do you go on stages and tell your story more?

Audra Bryant: Yeah, I'm building that up. A part of the TED Talk is something that I was just like, I've always wanted to do. I was like, well, here it is all right. So from there, I'm like, okay, let me figure out this part of myself. Because initially, just sharing my story was something I just did. I posted on Facebook one time, and I was like, whoa. I've never gotten this many responses on Facebook ever. And so I said, well, maybe this is something I need to do something with. So it's been a gradual process. Something that I'm looking to do is to do more speaking. And because I do, I enjoy getting in front of people and reminding them of how incredible they are, and that their life wasn't easy even if they make it look easy, and how they can bring more ease into their lives. I enjoy that. The thing I love to do is just encourage people that it brings me joy.

Heather Nelson: You definitely have found your zone of genius, for sure. I listened to your TED talk last night, and I was like, wow. And it was very short. It was like less than 8 minutes. I was so inspired. You did such a great job, and it was beautiful. You definitely found your thing, and I think that we need more of you in this world, especially right now. That's lifting people up and encouraging everybody, and so I'm thankful for the work that you're doing. We need more of you. How do you get on TED Talk? I think that's like a thing. I've always been curious because everyone's like, oh, I was on a TED Talk. They came to Sonoma County, and they came like, how do you get on it? What does that process even look like?

Audra Bryant: I can only share my process and what it was for me. A very simple experience for me. I'm not saying that this is the case for other people at all, but it really was like, I wanted to do a TED talk. And I said, okay, I started writing, let me see, it was probably around November, October? November of 2023. And so I started to write out what I could potentially talk about. And then I would just talk to my couches, my couch pillows. I really did. If someone saw, they were like, what are you doing? I just did that. And the next month, November of 2023, I received an email from this group that I'm a part of, and they're looking for TEDx speakers. I said, huh? So I filled out the application. It was a short video that I needed to do. I did that, and got a call back. I said, okay. And then I had an interview, and then I was selected. Now, here's what I will say. The only thing I can think is that whatever it is that you have to offer to share with the world, it should really be sincere. It's really about what idea, what concept can I share with others that has meaning to me in a deep way? It's not just about, let me find a stage to talk on. I think that's maybe the difference. It's like, how can I potentially change the world in a wonderful way, positively impact the world through this talk? And if that's the case, I think you just bring that idea. And if it's something that resonates with the TEDx organizers, then there you go.

Heather Nelson: That's so cool. That's so true. I was just always curious, because they have them and I'm like, I'll go to them. Maybe I need to go sit in the audience and actually experience it, because I'm always just so intrigued by it. 

Audra Bryant: I think we should. I think that that is a very empowering experience. I've seen others, and I'm just like, oh, my god. You guys are amazing. Everybody in my cohort, I'm like, you're amazing. Do you know that? We're just rooting for each other. So yeah, do that.

Heather Nelson: I love that you wrote a book. What is it about? How can we get it? I want to know all the things. 

Audra Bryant: It is called, I've Got Scars Baby! How to Embrace Your Scars and Power Your Purpose. I had a story to tell, but when I started to tell it, I was like, whoa. I wanted to create something that wasn't just sharing my story, but it was something that could actually help the reader reflect on their own story. Because I think the more you understand yourself and what created the aspects of you that you may not even like so much. Like and don't like. There are some wonderful things about ourselves. We're like, yay. I'm so glad that that challenging experience made me like this. But then you're also like, that challenging experience also made me like that. I wanted them to understand their story, so I wrote it. It's like a self help memoir. So I wrote about my experience. I'll give you a teeny bit in this conversation. Going to hospital and getting surgeries at two and three years old to know what's happening now. But at the end of every chapter are questions for you to reflect on your own experience. And so when you have that kind of experience, it's just like, okay, cool. Now, I'm understanding myself a little bit more. Now, I'm getting it. I have something to work with. And so from there, I talk again about my dad and how that relationship worked. It is really designed to help the person understand themselves and see a different perspective when it comes to their life experiences. And it is on Amazon. 

You can go to my website, audrabryant.com, I've Got Scars, Baby!m, if you want to take it. You're not alone. That's another thing too. I wanted to share so much because I wanted people to understand that you are not alone in this experience. I want you to see that I'm sharing, I'm giving you all I have. I'm sharing everything that I've experienced just because I want you to understand that you're not by yourself, because that is the very thing that can keep us stagnant. It can keep us hiding, and it's not about shame. It is about honesty. It is about acknowledging your pain. It is about acknowledging the things that happened that should not have happened. And a lot of people don't want to think about that. They just want to move forward. But you have to acknowledge, then you have to embrace, and then you can become empowered. But we can't skip over the acknowledgement, and we can't skip over embracing ourselves, because you deserve that. You deserve to be loved and to love yourself, flaws and all. And you can move powerfully from that.

Heather Nelson: I love that it's beautifully written. I have to buy your book. I'm so behind on book reading, because everybody who's been on my podcast has one, and I'm like, I have to buy it because I have to learn more. I'm just so inspired by the work that women do from their journeys, from their stories, from the things that have inspired them. And it's just it's really cool to be a part of all this.

Audra Bryant: Thank you. 

Heather Nelson: What's next for you? You've already done a TED talk. You have this beautiful life coaching business. You wrote a book. What's next for you?

Audra Bryant: So it is really creating more community. So creating more community around the ones that are giving and helping everybody else, but don't pay much attention to themselves. It's more about that. So an online community. Also events and looking to take this where it needs to go, whether it needs to be in corporate. I would love to have those conversations in corporate as well. Because unfortunately, the feelings and emotions don't bring that in here. Can be the messaging that people receive, but it is really about having these events on a consistent basis, a regular basis that is, I want to listen to what people need. One thing that I just had was an event recently, a little about a week or so ago, and they told me that they needed to have more fun. And I'm like, ooh, that's exciting. Let me create something around that that's still wellness oriented and therapeutic, but we can have some fun at the same time. I love those types of things. It's creating experiences for people that are outside of just the one on one coaching. 

Heather Nelson: It's interesting. You said the fun thing. We just a couple of our retreats ago, and some of the women that are there are entrepreneurs, and that's what it was like. The number one thing is, everyone's like, we don't have fun anymore. We don't have fun like we used to because we're always thinking of the next business idea. Or we're drowning in all the business stuff like, do we have enough sales in the finance? All the things that come with being a business owner, we don't get to have fun anymore, and so I love that.

Audra Bryant: I'm not saying this as the person that's like, because I have all the fun, and I'm so balanced, and I have it perfectly to be new, new, new, new, new. I'm saying this from the, ooh, I haven't been having fun. I say this from the, hey, other business owner, are you experiencing this too. Oh, we gotta fix this. Let's fix it together. That's exactly it. You have got to have some fun. Because why else are you here? What level of freedom are you creating for yourself and your business? There has to be a freedom for you to play. We have to be more like children than adults. We have to focus and be intentionally focused on being childlike. Because when you were a child, you were having a good time. Get some bubbles, or blow some bubbles. Do you know how much joy bubbles can bring people? I love bubbles. I hope anybody listening, do you love bubbles? Start there. Get yourself some bubbles, and take five minutes to enjoy the bubbles.

Heather Nelson: Oh, my God, that's so true. I actually enjoy coloring. I don't think that's a fun activity. But there's something about it that's creative. It's almost like a meditation, in a way. 

Audra Bryant: Play the things that we used to do when we're in kindergarten. Why don't we do those things anymore? We're way too serious. And I understand why. Yes, a lot of stuff happening, a lot of heaviness, but I think that means you have to work that much harder, in a sense, to have fun intentionally. And that working hard can mean, guess what? I'm not going to do half the things that are on my calendar for me to do. I am burnt out. I'm going to insert fun as an escape room with some friends or something. Do something. Laser tag. Do you know how much I love laser tag?

Heather Nelson: It's fun. It is fun.

Audra Bryant: Silliness, running around, doing it. 

Heather Nelson: Totally reminded me of, I have kids, and they range 14. Well, I actually have a 19 year old, a 14 year old, an 11 year old, and a 3 year old. I have a problem with just sitting down and playing, like, that's a really hard thing for me because I'm always in my head. I'm always thinking about what needs to happen. I'm thinking about, I need to do the dishes, and prepare for dinner. And it's so hard, and I have children that I could actually sit down and play with. But it's so hard. But we went on a trip and we played laser tag. I just think back to that moment that we had so much fun.

Audra Bryant: It's the best. Maybe in your mindset, think about it as, I want to be a really great mom. And part of me being a really great mom is playing with my children, playing along with them. As much as I want to do the adult responsible thing and do the dishes right now, take at least 20 minutes, and we are going to play this game over here because I want my kids to teach me how to have fun again, and I want to build that rapport. Mom likes to play with me. Sometimes, we have to trick our own mind into thinking that we're being irresponsible by not washing the dishes. We're being very responsible by playing with our child. Oh, that's so cool. It's a nice little mind hack. 

Heather Nelson: Yeah, thank you. I needed that today. I always feel like every time I have a guest on my podcast, they always come at such a great time in my life. Or a day in my life where it's like you're struggling with something, and it's just that little reminder of what you just said. And so thank you. I am so inspired by your story. I think you're beautiful. I think your scars are beautiful. I'm so glad that we got connected and you shared your journey. I cannot wait to see what's next for you. Is there anything that we didn't talk about, or you wanted to leave the listeners with today?

Audra Bryant: First of all, thank you so much for having me. This was amazing. It's definitely a blessing to be able to share and encourage anybody. If I have an opportunity, I would just say that it's okay to NOT be perfect. I have struggled with that. And it's this idea that perfection even exists. And there's this idea that if it does, you have to be that in order to be loved, in order to love yourself, in order to love someone else. That's not a thing. I think the thing is being authentic and being loving as you possibly can be, doing your best, and being honest. When you can't love somebody as well as you might want to, or you make a mistake, you say, I could have done that better. I apologize. That's beauty. My thighs are nice and toned. Oh, I have the perfect smile. That's a form of beauty, sure. But real beauty, the kind that people are like, oh, my God, I just want to be around this person. Is that other stuff, focus on the other stuff, develop that, give that to yourself, and life can at least be better than it has been.

Heather Nelson: Beautiful. Very well said, Thank you.